Courage and Dating: How to Untangle the Intricate Web


Part of dating successfully is making good decisions; you can hardly expect yourself to do that if you’re wracked with nerves and anxiety throughout the entire process. This means that courage is integral to any healthy love life.

Think about it: when do you move forward to the next level with a relationship? Are you able to speak up and say “no” when you’re not quite ready to take that step, even if that means you risk losing out on another date? On the other hand, are you brave enough to take the next step even though you’re afraid you could get hurt? Sometimes it’s tough to tell if you need an extra dose of courage, or if you just need more time to get to know the man you’re dating.

Certain women have a habit of constantly telling themselves to let loose and go for it, only to get burned in the long run. On the opposite side of the spectrum, some women will hold back from ever getting too involved because no one seems quite right for them. In a perfect world, you would recognize yourself as living somewhere in between those two extremes, but if you’re being totally honest, you might identify a little more strongly with one group than the other.

If it sounds like I’m asking you to walk a proverbial tightrope between all-encompassing fear and reckless abandon, that’s because I am—but it’s not as difficult as it sounds.

The trickiest part of managing this middle ground is allowing yourself to feel some level of fear without giving in to the urge to talk yourself out of that sensation or run in the other direction. Remember, it’s okay to be protective of yourself during the dating process. In fact, it’s healthy and helpful to be a little bit cautious with your heart.

When you take the time to ensure that a relationship is really built to last before you dive in headfirst, you’re much more likely to achieve long-term happiness. You need to know for sure that a man can commit and that he has some good qualities to match your own in order to have assurance that it can work out between you.

Courage can come in many forms throughout the dating process. If you’re the type that jumps in too quickly, you may need courage to take some extra time to get to know the man you’re dating; you’ll likely feel afraid that you will lose him if you don’t move quickly, but this isn’t true if he’s Mr. Right. If you’re the type that doesn’t often open up, then it will take courage to give this man a chance once he proves himself.

Remember that this screening process isn’t meant to be a means of shielding yourself from potential heartache. If you still aren’t sure about a new man after 3-6 months of dating, it’s probably time to talk with a therapist or dating coach about why exactly you’re so scared to let him in.

If you’ve been sitting on the dating sidelines for far too long, watching everyone else enjoy the game but feeling reluctant to jump on the field yourself, then it’s time to swallow a dollop of courage.

There are all sorts of reasons that women develop fear around dating. Maybe you’ve been burned before, maybe you’ve convinced yourself that you need to lose weight, or maybe you simply want to feel more confident before you put your heart on the line. At the end of the day, these are simply excuses, and they may shield you from the sting of rejection, but they also bar you from finding love.

Rejection is never fun, but if you consider that everyone is just trying to find their right fit, it won’t feel so personal. Plus, if you can muster the courage to put yourself out there in the first place, you can certainly take a little bit of rejection.

COVID-19 has absolutely added a new dimension of fear to the dating process. Although you don’t want to put yourself at risk by going out on dates while social distancing is still so necessary, you don’t have to put your love life on hold entirely. A great way to begin practicing courage is through online dating and video chats.

Do you have the courage to move forward with your love life at a pace that will equal long-term happiness? Get my free guide, How to Make a Good First Impression Video Chat Dating, to find out how to make the most of this new dating trend. 

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