The COVID-19 pandemic has taken one more unexpected toll on our lives: divorce rates are increasing. According to one source of sales of legal divorce agreements, divorce has increased by 34%. The same thing occurred in China after the lockdown was lifted. What is the common ground for these statistics?
It’s no surprise that the major stressors of the last several months would present an extraordinary strain on marriages. Not only have we lost the ability to lead our normal everyday lives, but many couples also face quarantine, sickness and death, major financial strain, unemployment, homeschooling their children, and mental illness.
Isolating themselves indoors, overlapping their previous routines, and having to accommodate each other’s habits can take a toll on any couple or family during these hard times. Another statistic that proves how great the pandemic’s impact is on our society is the increasing number of domestic violence cases during the lockdown. What is clear is that the changes our world has gone through since 2020 began are impacting almost all areas of our lives, including our relationships.
Getting Divorced During the Covid-19 Pandemic?
If you’re someone who wants to separate or divorce right now, there is help to address your marital problems. Many mental health providers offer TeleHealth visits so that you don’t have to leave the safety of your home to get the support you need to cope with all the stressors in your life. It’s often best not to make such a major life decision as divorce when you’re under enormous pressure. At the same time, wanting a separation or divorce is a cry for help and you shouldn’t ignore it.
Sometimes a time of separation can help to decrease the tensions between you and give one or both of you the chance to miss each other. There must be a reason that you fell in love in the first place and it can be easy to forget all that when stress piles on. The grass always seems greener on the other side, but single life can be difficult too. It can be filled with loneliness, bad dates, and rejection. Interestingly, many people find their second marriage faces similar issues to their first. If you don’t work through your issues, are you likely to make the same mistakes?
Being Single and Looking for Love During COVID-19?
If you’re single, this might be the chance for you to find true love, under the right circumstances. It all depends on your ability to make good decisions. Some of the newly single might be emotionally available for a long term relationship, but many will be carrying an awful lot of baggage from the one before you. Your ability to tell which one is which can make the difference between you going down the path to true love or heading for heartache.
How can you tell?
First, some of your prospects might be available for dating, but not yet divorced. They might even be living with their spouse because the process of moving is so cumbersome these days. Even with seemingly altruistic reasons such as it being best for their children, these situations are potential red flags.
How emotionally available can this person be if they are still this tied to their past? Is there a chance they will be in this situation indefinitely and unable to fully move on to a new relationship with you? Will they reunite with their spouse when the pandemic is over, leaving you alone again? You don’t want to be in a rebound relationship.
Next, you want to evaluate the character of the person. Is he open and honest with you about his situation or is he keeping something from you so you won’t judge or reject him? What happened to his marriage? Does he blame his spouse for all the issues, or take responsibility for his as well? Did he try to work on their marital problems or simply wanted out when things got too hard? You might not be able to get the answers to these questions very easily but always look for clues that might indicate a red flag.
Rather than ask a lot of nosy questions, it’s easier and more effective to avoid rushing into a relationship. Your potential partner can take the opportunity to explain their situation more fully if you aren’t in a hurry to seal the deal with him. If he’s more interested in you than rushing into something, he will help you understand his situation. If he’s not that into you and just needs a microwave romance, you will have been spared a crash and burn kind of relationship. Even though you might respect a man for being honest with you, don’t make the mistake of letting his honesty blind you to the reality of his situation.
One Step at a Time
While it’s easier said than done, staying focused on what you want from a romance in the long term can help you navigate through these times with a clear head. Complicating your life with an unfulfilled love is not healthy, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t find a reliable partner who shares a similar view on romance. Taking it easy is the key to building the kind of strong relationship you are looking for.
What do you think is the glue that holds relationships together in times of trouble? Leave a comment below.