The holidays are a time to enjoy being with your family, but it can be hard to enjoy being grilled about your love life. The dreaded “Why are you still single?” question can be enough to drain any single woman’s holiday cheer.
Although a family member may have good intentions when they ask why you’re single, it might not feel like a compliment to you. Your loved one might actually mean something like, “You’re such a great person, who wouldn’t want to be with you?” but for many of us, “Why are you still single” sounds more like, “What are you doing wrong if you aren’t in a relationship?” Also, maybe you just don’t want to talk about your love life with your family, and that’s OK.
So how can you respond without causing conflict, feeling bad about yourself, or feeling pressured into a conversation you don’t want to have?
First, think about what you want to say beforehand. It’s often harder to come up with a good answer on the spot. So, take some time before your family get-together to decide how you want to respond if anyone asks you why you are still single. Practice how you’ll say it, too. If you go into the situation prepared, you’ll feel more confident and it will be easier for you to gracefully stick to your boundaries.
Choose a response that feels right to you and that fits your personality. If you like to joke around, you may feel the most comfortable making light of the question. If you don’t want to talk about your love life at all, that’s OK to say, too! Remember, just because someone asks you a question doesn’t mean you have to answer it, and you don’t have to apologize. Instead, politely let them know that you’d prefer not to discuss it. Your family won’t know what your boundaries are unless you tell them.
Whatever you choose to say, you can follow up your answer with a different topic of conversation (“I’d rather not talk about my love life. How’s business going?”).
Here are some examples of other responses that you could try:
- I like being single. It gives me time to enjoy all my hobbies.
- I haven’t found the right guy yet.
- I’m learning to be my own Brand of Sexy, which means I don’t have to answer questions I’m not comfortable with.
- I’m not ready for commitment.
- I’m enjoying dating, but no one has impressed me enough to settle down yet.
- I was too smart to get married.
- Staying single gives my mother something to live for.
- I’d rather be single than be with the wrong guy.
- I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
- (Sigh) Ah, so many men, so little time!
How do you handle being asked why you are single? Do you have a favorite response? I’d love to hear from you. Please share your experiences in the comments below and on Facebook and Twitter.
You can do this. Join the revolution. Be your own Brand of Sexy and get what you want.