You may worry about wearing the right outfit or talking too much on your date. But you know what? Those are just minor offenses in the grand scheme of your dating life.
So, what is the biggest factor that is most likely to attract or repel him?
If you have a negative bias toward dating and men, you may think there are no good men to date in your area, men don’t make commitments, you hate dating, and you don’t want to meet new people.
The Power of Your Mindset
Research shows that positive thinking provides health benefits that include everything from better coping skills during stressful times to an increased life span. Optimistic people tend to lead healthier lifestyles too. They exercise more, eat right, and don’t smoke and drink as much.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should be positive all the time. It’s just not realistic. Life has its ups and downs, and you probably can’t be upbeat when you have a lousy day or somebody you love is sick or dying. We’re not talking about pretending things are rosy all the time, just thinking the glass is half full. Thinking positively means seeing the bad things going on in your life but being able to appreciate the good ones too.
So why does your mindset make such a difference in attracting or repelling the right man?
Here are 3 reasons:
Reason Why Your Mindset Can Attract or Repel Him #1: It Shows
Pessimists expect the worst. When you assume that rejection and problems will come with every date, you get defensive and less friendly. If your date makes a mistake, you feel like he’s another jerky guy who’s going to hurt you rather than just a minor glitch.
You might also be a lot more nervous on dates because you are afraid rejection is coming. Your negative mindset may also make it harder for you to take a joke. The men you date might not have the emotional energy to break through your shell.
Reason Why Your Mindset Can Attract or Repel Him #2: Can He Make You Happy?
Most good men want to make their woman happy. For example, he may be trying hard to impress you with his ability to provide by planning a nice date. So, if he can tell you are not happy, how can he think he has a chance of changing that and giving you a pleasant future?
Reason Why Your Mindset Can Attract or Repel Him #3: Like Attracts Like
When you are deeply focused on what you don’t want, it often brings you more of the same. When you assume all the men in your area are no good, then how much effort will you put into finding a good one? If you think men can’t commit, then would you try to figure out which men can commit and which can’t? Probably not.
You likely end up with another man who can’t commit. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy as you keep telling yourself: “It’s just what I thought.”
Your thoughts and attitude have a big impact on your dating success. Do you have a negative mindset and find it hard to find a good man? Next week we’ll talk about how to start to shift your focus. Tune in then!
Want to know how to start to change your mindset? Check this out.