Ideally, age would make no difference in whether or not you find someone attractive enough for a relationship. But, the reality is that if you are considering dating a younger man, age really matters. If you are a woman over 40, you may have considered it.
Do older women like younger men?
According to a Singles in America survey, over 80% of women say they’re interested in dating a man 10 years younger, and 90% of men are interested in dating a woman 10 years older.
Women who are dating younger men have more choices in the available dating pool. But, here’s the thing. Because our culture is so obsessed with youth and beauty, being over a certain age can make you feel like you are at a disadvantage.
That feeling may be accurate to some extent. It can be a huge ego boost to have a younger man find you sexy, beautiful, and adore you. But these age gap relationships with older women are often temporary and it’s usually because of some pitfalls you didn’t consider.
Katie Couric has been married to John Molner since 2014 and he is six years younger. Kim Kardashian just broke it off with 13-years younger boyfriend Pete Davidson. Age was one of the reasons for their split.
So, how can you make a relationship work when he’s younger than you?
My advice is that you should consider these critically important factors before dating a younger man:
#1: Level of Maturity
Although many younger men can be quite mature, in general, if you’re older, you are likely to be more mature than he is. Is he so overconfident that he doesn’t value your advice or opinion? That might give your relationship a short shelf life. Women are more satisfied in their relationships when their partners make an effort to understand their negative feelings, even if these men aren’t accurate in their understanding.
If you want to protect your heart, you do need some idea of whether he can take responsibility for his actions. You want someone mature enough to hang in there when things get tough. You don’t want your relationship to end via an unexpected text, for example.
#2: Different Priorities
Sometimes an age difference can spell conflict over what is important in your life. For example, a younger man may want to focus on building his career while the older woman may be ready for relaxation and travel.
One of the biggest deal breakers is when the younger man wants children and the older woman doesn’t or can’t have them.
Talk about your expectations and know what you can and are willing to offer each other before you jump into a relationship. Breaking up is hard to do. Why put yourself through it?
#3: Criticism
Other people may have a problem with your May-December romance. When people see a younger man who dates an older woman, it can get their backs up. Why does it bug people? These relationships challenge traditional gender roles. Although the younger man also gets disapproval over your relationship, it can be even stronger for the woman. Be prepared for someone to ask if you’re his mother. If you’re sensitive to being judged, this relationship might be hard for you.
The term “cougar” was used to describe an older woman in a romantic relationship with a younger man. Since there is no corresponding term to use for a man who dates a younger woman, this is a double standard. Many women have embraced the cougar term as something sexy and positive. It’s good if they feel empowered, but calling a woman who dates a younger man a predatory animal is misogynistic.
#4: Commitment
It doesn’t matter if he’s younger or older. A man may not want a committed relationship regardless of his age.
Maybe he just ended a relationship, or he might just want his freedom. If he wants something casual, you may be tempted to go along thinking it will turn into something more. That’s a recipe for a broken heart. Women often think the idea of a fling is exciting, but they often regret it later.
Make sure you are on the same page before you start something new. If he tells you or signals you that he’s not ready for a relationship, it’s better to move on.
#5: Sexual Compatibility
Younger men seem to have higher sex drives in general. In one study, women also reported that younger men were ready to have sex again sooner and were more likely to be able to get an erection. If you’re in your sexual prime that may be great news. If not, you might want to think twice.
Women who date younger men can feel it gives them a chance to embrace their sexual assertiveness. Women in the study even reported their belief that younger men try harder to please them sexually than men their own age.
#6: Different Relationship History
A younger man may seem to have less baggage because he may not be divorced or have children. But he also probably has less experience in relationships. That could mean that he still needs to learn how to open up and communicate when problems arise. He might not understand the importance of sticking in relationships through the hard times and be tempted to give up when times are tough.
#7: More Adventurous and Spontaneous
A younger man is more likely to know about the latest events in your area. He’ll probably be more interested in more adventurous activities than your usual. You might have to make some adjustments to keep up with him.
Bottom Line:
Sure, age is just a number, but it can matter quite a lot to you if you are dating a younger man.
Have you dated a younger man? What it was like? Tell us the good and the bad in the comments. We always love to hear from you!
