Are You Scared of Love? Here’s How to Overcome Your Fears

12
Sep

Labor Day marks the unofficial end of summer and now it’s the perfect time to take a second and analyze your love life and decide where you want to be and how to get there.

Ask yourself this:

Are you happy with the romance in your life? Are you in limbo waiting for the pandemic to pass? Do you need a change in direction to get you on the path to the love you desire?

If the answers to these questions indicate the need for action or a change, then now it’s the time to act.

Are You Telling Yourself These Excuses?

Oh, I know very well how easy it is to put things off and continue lingering in the same state. You might tell yourself that it’s just too risky to date during a pandemic, or you might rely on other convenient excuses such as needing to lose weight or become more confident before you start the process.

None of these are truly legitimate reasons to delay. Our world is constantly changing and so does dating. Yes, we live in unique times, but there are steps you can take to meet prospects safely today. And, lots of women date and find partners despite concerns about their weight and their lack of confidence.

If you’ve been postponing dating or finding true love because of any of these reasons or others, maybe it’s time for you to address some underlying fears about dating.

We All Fear Rejection, But Some Just Learned How to Handle It

The reality is that most of the people who use these excuses to avoid meeting prospects have fears of dating that might not be conscious. One fear that is extremely common among daters is a fear of rejection. And, that’s understandable: no one likes being rejected, especially when they’ve shown vulnerability by telling a prospective partner how they feel.

But, rejection is part of the dating process and can’t be avoided. Until you meet your match, everyone you meet will either reject you or you’ll reject them. It doesn’t have to be painful if you know how to handle it.

If you’ve had any painful rejections or abandonment in your past, you might be more sensitive than you need to be when you feel rejected.  If this is a sticking point for you, then it might be very helpful to explore these feelings with a therapist or coach. When you bring up those unconscious fears, it can help to make them much less problematic.

When You’re Terrified of Relationship

Believe it or not, you might also have an unconscious fear of meeting someone wonderful and falling in love. It may sound crazy at first. After all, you want a partner and you try to put yourself out there.

But, there may be a part of you that isn’t ready for that kind of commitment. Perhaps you’re still hung up on your ex, or maybe someone in your family isn’t going to like it if you make someone else more of a priority. Even if this seems completely far-fetched to your conscious mind, it’s important to be aware that this might be a problem for you if you’ve had a pattern of relationships with partners who are emotionally unavailable or not that into you. If you’re picking people who aren’t a good match for you, maybe this is the reason why.

Change Is Never Easy

Of course, many of us are simply afraid of change in our lives. When you’re single, a partner is a big change for every area of your life. Change is scary simply because it’s unfamiliar. So, ask yourself this: are you really ready for that kind of change or would you prefer enjoying the single life for a bit longer?

Over to You

With a new season starts new beginnings and opportunities. But, moving forward with your love life can’t prove to be difficult if you don’t take a close look at what is keeping you behind.

Any of these fears could be sabotaging your forward motion on the path to the love life you want. What are you afraid of? Leave us a comment below.

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