If you don’t enjoy dating, you might not realize how important it is to your future relationship. Every date is a stepping stone to your final love destination. Done well, you find the right man for you and begin your first steps toward building a happy, healthy relationship.
Of course, many women find dating disappointing and get discouraged with the process. Dating isn’t easy, especially when you want to be in a loving, committed relationship with a person who is right for you. Having clarity about how you approach dating is crucial for reducing inevitable disappointment.
One of the biggest reasons women dislike dating is getting rejected. On your dating journey, you will meet many men who aren’t good matches for you. They reject you for a variety of reasons. You may not even know why they reject you. That hurts. Rejection is part of the process. You will reject men too. Although it can be painful, it will lead you to the right partner.
Believe it or not, this process will teach you a lot about yourself, men, and relationships in general. When you can enjoy the process of discovery, it can make the road more pleasant and set you up for the long-term healthy relationship you are seeking.
How can you enjoy your date when you hate dating? When your journey is transformed from a chore into an adventure, you’re much more likely to come off as having a good time. That means you’re a better date, right? How would you like to date a man who finds it drudgery to go out with you? It doesn’t feel very flattering, does it?
If you are open, here are the enjoyable ways you can begin to imagine and create your future relationship, even before you meet Mr. Right:
1- Deal breakers
Nobody likes bad dates, but we can learn a lot from them. You may grumble, wondering what you could possibly be learning. Life lessons are often painful. One of the best ways to prevent bad dates is to be a good date. Be pleasant and polite, even if you aren’t interested.
Ever been dumped by text? I bet that’s a deal breaker for you. If he’s got a roving eye or drinks too much, you know those are deal breakers. Maybe these seem obvious, but when you’re attracted to a man, you might be tempted to overlook a few flaws. They may seem small at first but grow into monster problems over time. It’s helpful to know your deal breakers in advance, to help you resist any temptations.
2- Must Haves
Must haves are the traits you can’t live without in a partner. For example, most of us need honesty in a partner in order to have the kind of trust needed for a solid relationship. Without kindness in your partner, it’s very difficult to open up and get close to him. Does he make you feel safe enough to be vulnerable with him?
You probably want someone fairly generous too. For most women it isn’t much of a turn on to support a man financially, so it’s critical for him to be able to support himself.
What are your must haves?
3- Boundaries
When you meet your Mr. Right, you are going to need to know how to effectively and diplomatically communicate your needs. A man can’t read your mind. You have to find a way to tell him what you want. Why not start getting the hang of it now? Learn how to say “no” to what you don’t want with the men you date. Say “no” with grace and dignity to last-minute dates, sex without the commitment you want, and lots more.
Do you struggle with learning how to set and enforce boundaries in dating? Becoming a better, more assertive communicator won’t just help you find a good relationship. It will also help you keep a good relationship when you find the man who is ultimately right for you. These skills can also enhance your relationships at work, home, and school.
4- Dating and Flirting Practice
It’s never a bad idea to get in a little dating practice, and that’s especially true if you’re rusty or you have some patterns in dating that aren’t working well for you. For example, some women find that they keep coming up against guys not being able to tell when they’re interested in them. Or men may lose interest when women don’t know how to play the game. If this is you, you might need to learn how to flirt{link}. Practice gives you a chance to feel more comfortable talking, flirting, saying “no,” and much more with men.
5- Reading men
Women can be in a hurry to discover if a man is the right match for her. But, when you want a second date, it’s important to ensure that he actually enjoys date one. So you may not want to pepper him with questions that might make him feel awkward or uncomfortable. So how do you get the answers to your questions that will help you determine whether he is a good match for you?
The keys to getting those answers is listening to what he tells you and watching what he does.
With patience, awareness, and time, you’ll get better at reading men so that you can have a better handle on where a man stands. As long as you can protect your heart, you have plenty of time to discover who he is and whether he’s right for you.
Bottom line:
As painful as the dating process can sometimes be, you can learn a lot about yourself and develop valuable skills that will help you to create a healthy future relationship. But, it’s possible to make an effort to enjoy the learning process, knowing that it will ultimately lead you to a better choice of partner and a happier future.
Do you enjoy anything about your dating journey so far? Do you find that’s it’s helping you grow as a person? Please leave a comment and let us know your thoughts.
