It’s no wonder dating is such an emotional process. Not only do you have to contend with awkward conversations and an utter lack of chemistry, but some dates can be truly duds. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, those problems are just the tip of the iceberg.
When you meet someone you like, the stakes get even higher. All your insecurities pop up to remind you that you are competing with more beautiful, successful, and younger prospects. And, if you’ve been in a relationship or more that didn’t work out, you may fear getting involved and hurt again.
And, let’s not forget the big kahuna: the fear of rejection. Nobody is immune to rejection when dating, but you may also fear ending up alone, which ratchets the emotion meter up even higher.
Dating Doesn’t Have to Be Difficult
Does it seem strange for me to tell you that dating doesn’t have to be difficult and that you can keep all these emotional forces pulling your heart’s strings in check? Maybe, but if you are reading this, it means you want to master your mindset so that you aren’t letting your emotions get in the way of getting what you want, right?
And, not just that. You also don’t want to feel so desperate and emotional on a date that you spoil your chances with a good man. You want to attract a good man, and your mindset matters a lot.
Ideally, you can set the following goals that will allow you to master your mindset so that you can enjoy dating and be more likely to get what you want:
Dating Mindset Shift #1: Being Single Has Advantages
When you begin to see the good in being single, you lose the negativity of “I hate being single.” When you hate being single, you are at risk of making a poor choice simply because you can’t wait for a compatible partner to come along.
Being single is good for you. Dating allows you to meet a lot of new men who will help you to sort out the type of person who might be the best partner for you. It will teach you a lot about yourself.
And, being single allows you more time to take good care of yourself. Remember, the better you are at taking care of yourself, the more obvious it will become whether a man will be able to take good care of you in a relationship.
Dating Mindset Shift #2: Recognize Your Good Qualities
You don’t want to choose a partner who treats you badly or isn’t a good fit. And for that to happen, you need to stop thinking, “Why would anyone be interested in me?”
Make a list of everything you have to offer a potential partner and focus on those rather than what you lack.
Dating Mindset Shift #3: Practice Your Conversational Skills
How many times did you tell yourself: “I have nothing to talk about?” You don’t want to freeze up on your date because you think you have poor conversational skills.
He is there to find out about you, so you can talk about yourself. Come up with a few topics that you are prepared to discuss and practice talking about them. You might talk about your job, your interests, or current events. If you’re interested in any of his interests, you might tell him why and ask him some questions about it. The point of going out on your date is interaction, not trying to measure up. When you’re ready with conversation, you have something to share and talk about.
Dating Mindset Shift #4: This Is a Learning Experience
Instead of telling yourself, “I’ve made so many mistakes,” try to be kind to yourself. Everyone learns about relationships from experience and we are all continually learning. When you can accept and enjoy the process of learning, you will become more confident in your ability to choose a good partner and keep a healthy relationship. Every date gives you the opportunity to practice your dating skills and every relationship can teach you important lessons.
Dating Mindset Shift #5: I Can Wait to Find a Partner
When you tell yourself, “I need a partner, NOW,” you’re probably going to come off as desperate. Needless to say, that isn’t the best approach when you want to put your best foot forward. Many people want a partner, but they would prefer to wait to find the right person so their relationship has the best chance of working. It’s easier to wait for that special someone if you’re enjoying your life as a single person. If you feel incomplete without a partner, you might consider exploring why you don’t feel comfortable alone. Try to find some activities and interests that give you some joy and meaning to your life.
If you approach the dating journey as you would shopping for a dress, you can see how much easier your journey can be. When you desperately want something new, you put a lot more pressure on shopping than you would if you are fine wearing the nice dress already hanging in your closet. And adding any insecurity about your weight or your figure just makes it worse.
Your next success step: You’re invited to take your next success step by visiting www.BeYourOwnBrandofSexy.com/quiz to learn more about your dating style and how to make dating easier for you.