Breakups are miserable. Sometimes we’ll do anything to avoid the pain of losing our partner and the promise of a future with them. That can make it very hard to decide whether or not to move forward in a relationship. Should you hang in there and give your relationship a chance? Or should you end it rather than waste your precious time?
It’s perfectly normal to have some doubts or questions about the long term potential of your relationship. But don’t ignore your feelings if your concerns are becoming more frequent. Here are some questions to help you to begin to decide whether a breakup is right for you.
Are you similar enough?
One of the best reasons to end a relationship is if your values are too different. If you believe in honesty and generosity and your partner doesn’t, you may not be a match. If one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, it simply may not work. Religious and spiritual differences can also be dealbreakers. Be honest with yourself about what’s important to you.
Can you have a real conversation with them?
Different communication styles can create conflict in your relationship. If one of you likes to have long discussions about your feelings and the other prefers to avoid conflict at any cost, there might be too large a mismatch in your approach to communication, leaving you frustrated and unable to discuss your differences. You may not be able resolve the majority of your differences and that’s OK. Women are happiest in their relationships as long as their partner makes an attempt to understand how they feel, even if they aren’t completely successful. If your partner is critical, defensive, shut down, or treating you as if you were inferior, you might have serious relationship problems that would benefit from couples therapy or you might want to consider breaking off your relationship.
Are you the one keeping the relationship afloat?
Women often have a tendency to get their heart set on a man who isn’t that into them. They might make excuses about why he isn’t keeping up his end of the relationship, hoping that he will come around eventually. This just makes it easier for the man to take her for granted, because she is training him to treat her badly by putting her needs and feelings on the back burner. It takes two to make a relationship work. If he isn’t showing up, it’s time for you to make it clear that you aren’t comfortable with the way your relationship is headed. If he cares about you, he’ll try to keep you. If not, it’s time for you to move on. You need to feel like a priority in his life. If he can’t do that, you can find someone else who will make you a priority.
Is it simply not working?
If his problems are harming you and he won’t deal with his issues, it’s time to end your relationship. Whether he’s cheating, has financial problems, drug or alcohol issues, or other mental health issues, he needs to get help. If he’s not willing to face the damage he’s done and get the help he needs, it’s time for you to get out.
Have you ever wondered if it was time to end your relationship? What helped you to make your decision? Leave us your comments and questions below.