If you’re back on the dating scene, you may have been through a lot. You probably know what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship. But even with all your experience, it might be hard to spot the early warning signs of a bad dating situation.
Unfortunately, it can be difficult to tell what kind of man he is when you are first getting to know each other, because it’s natural for you both to be on your best behavior. Also, you might be tempted to overlook any warning signs and give him the benefit of the doubt. But, it’s important for you to be on the lookout for the danger signs in a relationship that tell you there’s a problem. You want to avoid the pitfalls that can lead to heartache and disappointment.
Don’t ignore any potential problems that would interfere with your chances of finding love and happiness. Remember, knowledge is power. Being aware of red flags with dating makes it easier for you to make informed decisions so that you can avoid dating disasters.
Here are 10 dating red flags to watch out for:
1. He treats the waitress poorly.
If he treats you with respect but is rude to other people, it’s a good sign that he’s not such a good guy. At some point, his best behavior with you will wear off, and he will probably not treat you very well either. Respect is critical in any healthy relationship.
2. He doesn’t listen.
Does he ask you the same questions more than once? Does he remember what you’ve told him about yourself? When you are having a conversation at dinner, does he make eye contact with you, or does he sneak glances at his phone? A guy who is really into you will be more interested in hearing what you have to say than checking email, and he’ll pay close attention to what you tell him.
3. He complains about his ex.
If he’s complaining about his ex, it’s likely that he hasn’t moved on emotionally from the relationship. If he’s still hung up on his ex, it can spell trouble for your relationship. Beware if he blames her for the breakup and takes no responsibility. It could be a warning sign about the relationship that he can’t see his role in their troubles. You don’t want to get involved with a man who blames you for every problem and doesn’t see how he is contributing to your problems. His dating history can tell you a lot about how he typically treats women. Did his relationships end respectfully, or did he cheat or just stop returning her calls? You might not be able to ask such personal questions when you are first getting to know him, because you don’t want to grill men about their past. But, be sure to listen carefully to what he tells you. If there are issues with his ex, be sure to find out about them before you get more involved.
4. You are exclusive, but his online dating profile is still live.
If you met a man online, and you two talked about not dating other people, there’s no good reason for his profile to stay up. That may be a sign that he’s dating other women (or at least trying to). If he’s still updating his profile, that’s a big relationship red flag.
5. You suspect he’s lying.
Do his stories seem a bit too unrealistic or embellished? Does your gut tell you that he’s lying when he cancels your Friday night date because he has to go to work, even though his office closes at 5pm? Trust is critical in a relationship. Even if the lies seem small and unimportant, a guy who tells small lies will probably tell bigger ones, too. If he isn’t trustworthy, it’s time to move on.
6. He’s controlling.
If he wants to know every move you make or tries to make decisions for you, it’s a problem. He may suggest you go to certain places, wear the clothes he prefers, see people he wants you to see, or avoid others. A man who wants to connect with you will be curious about who you are and what you do rather than pushing his agenda on you.
7. He’s critical.
Be careful if he’s criticizing you or putting you down. If he nitpicks anything from your appearance to your personality, something is wrong. Don’t let him make you feel like you’re not good enough. It’s his problem, and a big dating red flag.
8. He doesn’t respect your boundaries.
Whether he’s asking questions that are too personal or insisting he pick you up at your place when you aren’t comfortable, be aware that this man has trouble respecting your boundaries. A good partner cares about your feelings, so if the man you’re dating is dismissing them, it’s a major red flag.
9. He’s financially irresponsible.
Does he avoid conversations about money? Is he spending beyond his means? He might ask you to pay for something and say he will repay you, but never mentions it again.
10. He’s emotionally unavailable or not into you.
It can be hard to tell whether a man is not emotionally available or just not that into you. The bottom line is the same: you must move on.
If he’s not making you a priority in his life, if he’s inconsistent with his interest in you, or he won’t compromise or commit, there is a problem. Women often cut men slack, telling themselves that he just needs more time to get to know them better. Be honest with yourself.
Bottom line
Use these dating red flags to guide you. It’s better for you to figure out if he isn’t right for you or he isn’t into you early on. That way, you can stop seeing him before you’ve fallen head over heels. You won’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t care about you, and you’ll save yourself from a lot of frustration and heartache. Plus, you’ll free yourself up to meet a better man.
Have you missed any red flags that taught you what to look out for when dating? I’d love to hear from you. Please share your experiences in the comments below.
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