We all want to be treated well by men. Dating guys who treat you poorly or don’t want a committed relationship is frustrating and painful. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to tell what kind of guy he is when you are first getting to know each other, because it’s natural for you both to be on your best behavior. He may seem like the perfect guy, but then stop returning your phone calls after you’ve had sex, or tell you that he’s not interested in commitment.
So how do you know if he’s a good guy, or if he’s just acting like one? There are often subtle signs that can help you figure out what kind of person he is. Here are 6 red flags that can warn you about his true colors:
- He treats the waitress poorly. If he treats you with respect but is rude to other people, it’s a good sign that he’s not such a good guy. At some point, his best behavior with you will wear off, and he will probably not treat you very well either.
- He doesn’t listen to what you tell him. Does he ask you the same questions more than once? Or does he remember what you’ve told him about yourself? When you are having a conversation at dinner, does he make eye contact with you, or does he sneak glances at his phone? A guy who is really into you will be more interested in hearing what you have to say than checking email, and he’ll pay attention to what you tell him.
- His ex-girlfriend is really mad at him. That can be a warning sign that he was a jerk. If he was, he might not treat you well, either. His dating history can tell you a lot about how he typically treats women. Did his relationships end respectfully, or did he just stop returning her calls?
- He calls you at the last minute to hang out. Does he call you on Monday to plan a date for the weekend, or do you get a text from him at 10pm on Friday night asking if you want to get a drink? If he’s excited about getting to know you and interested in a relationship, he’ll make time for you. Being his last minute option is a red flag that he might not treat you well. If you keep saying “yes” to guys when they call at the last minute, you might be training men to treat you badly. Read this to find out if you are training men to treat you poorly and what you can do about it.
- You are exclusive, but he didn’t take down his online dating profile. It’s common to meet a guy online these days. If you’ve talked about not dating other people, there’s no reason for his profile to stay up. That may be a sign that he’s dating other women (or at least trying to). If he’s still updating his profile, that’s a big red flag!
- He lies. Do his stories seem a bit too unrealistic or embellished? Does your gut tell you that he’s lying when he cancels your Friday night date because he has to go into work, even though his office closes at 5pm? Trust is critical in a relationship. Even if the lies seem small and unimportant, a guy who tells small lies will probably tell bigger ones, too. If he isn’t trustworthy, it’s time to move on.
It’s better for you to figure out if he isn’t a good guy or he isn’t into you early on. That way, you can stop seeing him before you’ve fallen head over heels. You won’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t care about you, and you’ll save yourself from a lot of heartache. Plus, you’ll free yourself up to meet a better guy.
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Have you missed any red flags that taught you what to look out for when dating? I’d love to hear from you. Please share your experiences in the comments below and on Facebook and Twitter.
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