If you’re a single woman who wants to attract great men, you may be wondering what you can do to improve your odds.
Here’s a very simple yet effective way: show your appreciation towards them.
Unfortunately, a lot of modern women have lost the art of appreciating men and their love lives suffer for it. If you can’t or don’t know how to show your appreciation, you may be missing out on some great men, the ones who want to give you top treatment and show you that they would make a good partner.
Why Does It Matter?
Think about it this way:
When you have any doubts or concerns about a man’s efforts to win you over, it shows. He can tell something is off. You simply cannot fully appreciate his actions when you feel conflicted, threatened, or offended. Wouldn’t you rather make him feel like a hero?
Part of the reason women have lost this skill is not your fault. There are a lot of mixed messages out there about dating and relationships. We’re often told how important it is to be strong, independent women, and that can create some confusion and conflict. Although letting a man do things to help you doesn’t rob you of your strength or independence, some women have their doubts.
Sometimes those doubts can be expressed violently. One man told me how he had opened a woman’s door for her, and she promptly slapped him! Why would anyone feel that violence was an acceptable reaction to someone who had the best of intentions? Yet, at the worst extreme, women feel offended and maybe even threatened by a harmless gesture that the men intend as a courtesy.
At the very least, modern women feel conflicted. Is it OK to let a man help me? If he pays for my dinner, will he expect me to be dessert? Should I let him pay if I make more money?
A lot of modern women are struggling to find answers to these questions.
So, here are the 3 top reasons why appreciating a good man will attract him to you:
Appreciating a Good Man Attracts Him #1: You Show Him That He Can Make You Happy
He isn’t trying to insult you; he wants to make you happy. If he can’t make you happy, why would he ask you out for another date? He is trying to win you over by demonstrating to you that he is thoughtful and courteous and that he appreciates you. If you have doubts, he feels that you don’t enjoy what he is doing for you. He doesn’t know what that means about you, but he knows there is a problem. How would you feel if you did something nice for someone and they looked at you with suspicion or doubt? You’d probably be reluctant to try again.
Appreciating a Good Man Attracts Him #2: The Masculine/Feminine Dynamic
Sure, maybe we no longer want patriarchal protection, but don’t we still want men who will take responsibility for their actions and treat us well? Letting him “be the man” and do nice things for you helps you to assess him as a potential partner. If he’s trying his best and you don’t like what he’s doing, you may not be a match.
When he wants to show you how competent he is by planning a really nice date, he will probably feel responsible for taking charge of the date. If you suggest a different restaurant or complain about the place he chooses, he may feel criticized. You might be legitimately concerned about whether he will choose a place that can accommodate a dietary restriction. If you simply tell him your concern, it won’t feel like you are pushing against his attempts to make you happy.
Men spend all day in a dog-eat-dog competitive rat race. They see their partner as a respite from work stress. So maybe it’s no wonder a man doesn’t like it if you grill him about his past relationships or whether he can make a commitment. Tricky topics are best to be discovered organically. They require your intuition and instincts and not simply how he answers a few awkward questions.
Appreciating a Good Man Attracts Him #3: Accepting Compliments Shows Self Esteem
If you have trouble accepting a compliment, it can be a sign of a lack of confidence. Although it’s trendy now to say that you must have the confidence to find love, it is not true. Millions of people in solid long-term relationships and marriages have low self-esteem. You can easily learn to practice and change your response to compliments. Whether you agree or not when he says you are pretty or look nice, you can thank him or say, “that’s sweet.”
Your Next Success Steps:
Practice the art of appreciating others as everyone likes to be appreciated. Not only will it help you attract good men, but it makes the world a better place when we all feel a little more appreciated. Something as simple as, “it’s nice to see you again,” can make someone feel good.