Beware of These 7 Mind Games Emotionally Insecure Men Play When Dating


It might not be natural for you to think or feel like a man is playing games with you. In fact, you might blame yourself or try to understand or want to help him.

He may not be intentionally trying to hurt or manipulate you, but there is still a chance that you could be “played” or hurt. So even if he is wounded or healing from a recent breakup, it still might be too risky for you to continue seeing him.

You can waste a lot of time trying to help a man who has a long way to go to heal. And some insecure men are just looking to you as a way to boost their ego, so why allow that to happen to you?

By the way, it is not just men who play these kinds of games. Pay attention to whether you too might be guilty of this kind of behavior. It won’t lead to a healthy relationship if you are.

Here are the 7 mind games that insecure men play:

Dating Mind Game #1: Blaming You

Whether he lays a guilt trip on you or calls you crazy and gaslights you, he turns the situation around to being all your fault. He might tell you that you are overly jealous when you complained that he was flirting with that other woman when he insists it was harmless.

If you tend to feel guilty or blame yourself easily, you might be taken in. But the best response is usually to stand up for yourself. Let him know that you don’t like him flirting with other women and it is not a jealousy problem. If he doesn’t apologize, then maybe you are not a match.

Dating Mind Game #2: Physical or Emotional Abuse

This is a relationship that you should seriously consider leaving. These relationships usually don’t get better without major intervention and can be very dangerous for you. If you aren’t sure whether this is an issue for you, check out The National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Dating Mind Game #3: Controlling

If he wants you to stay home rather than see your girlfriends or change your wardrobe to please him, then he is crossing a boundary with you. In other words, it is OK for you to see your friends or choose your own clothes. Something isn’t right if he wants to control those kinds of decisions. This is a problem that he needs to address and try to fix and you shouldn’t bend his way just to please him.

He might have trust issues or be projecting his own insecurities on you. You can try to talk with him and help him see how problematic his behavior is. If he doesn’t get it, this relationship has serious flaws and you should consider finding a better match.

Dating Mind Game #4: Hot and Cold

If he is not consistently staying in touch or asking you out, then there is a problem. Or maybe, he is pursuing you aggressively until he has you, and then loses interest.

These men aren’t ready for love. Either they are still emotionally invested in a relationship or they have deep conflicts over intimacy. If he is not ready, you will never be enough for him. Don’t waste any more time and energy.

Dating Mind Game #5: Jealousy

He tries to make you jealous to get some kind of reaction from you. He might flirt with a woman or like her profile on social media. Maybe he feels insecure about your feelings for him or wants to boost his ego.

You can simply say, “Want to make me jealous?” and see what he has to say. If he tells you how he feels about you, it might lead to a good conversation. If he denies it, he is probably not the right man for you. A lifetime of living with a man who wants you to feel jealous is not ideal.

Dating Mind Game #6: Dishonesty

He is not honest with you about anything, from who he is to how he feels about you. If you ask him questions about the status of your relationship and you get only vague answers, he may not be able to be honest with you because he isn’t sure about it himself.

You need a man who is more mature than this, so it’s best to move on.

Dating Mind Game #7: He Can’t Be Happy for Your Success

If he can’t be happy for you when you are pleased with your accomplishment, something is off. He should want to celebrate the good times in your life. He might feel insecure about your success and feel bad about himself.   

You might ask him why he isn’t happy for you if this relationship is important to you. If he doesn’t see his reaction as a problem, then you might need to find a man who is more secure and confident in himself.

Bottom Line:

If he’s playing games with you, you need to take some kind of action.

Which action are you going to take?

Leave us a comment and let us know.

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