Am I asking too much from men? Are my standards too high?
Am I single because my dating expectations are unrealistic?
These are some of the most common questions I hear every day. Last week’s blog about how to get top treatment from men may have brought up these concerns for many of you as well. These are important questions – when women are confused about what are realistic expectations in dating, they are unable to expect top treatment or even judge how a man is treating them.
Even worse, it’s easy to accept poor behavior when you aren’t sure you have the right to ask for something more. And when women lower their standards, men start to think that it’s okay for them to treat women badly.
Understanding the difference between unrealistic and reasonable expectations for a man begins by thinking about how you interact with each other and feel about the relationship. Keep reading for more help figuring out what realistic expectations and good treatment from men might look like in your life.
Why It’s Good for You to Expect Respect from Men
Most men know when they’re treating women badly or not giving women the top treatment they could. But the main issue today is that women allow men to stop treating them well because we are confused about what constitutes top treatment and whether we deserve to expect it from men. Women end up accepting poor treatment this way.
Some women accept treatment they don’t like because they mistake it for gender equality. Does being an independent woman mean that you shouldn’t let a guy pay for dinner on a date or pull out your chair before you sit down? Of course not. We’re so used to doing what we think is necessary to be “modern women” that we don’t stop to consider how we feel about a relationship or whether we are being treated in a special way.
Expecting respect is likely to require retraining and restraining ourselves. As strong women, it’s common to feel like we should go after what we want and take it – but we must recognize that this approach doesn’t always work in dating. Sometimes, we need to take a step back and let the guy prove that he’s worth going for. Otherwise, it is too easy to end up in relationships with men who don’t treat us with respect.
That’s a lot like saying to yourself, “I don’t deserve any better.”
How to Have High Standards for Men without Unrealistic Expectations
So, are you expecting too much?
If you expect expensive dates when he’s not a rich man, yes.
If you expect him to care how you feel when he is narcissistic, yes.
If you expect him to text you frequently when he has a time-consuming job, yes.
Would you consider these realistic expectations? I don’t think so. But the real problem here isn’t that you are expecting too much. It’s just that he can’t give it to you. You must decide if you are happy with who he currently is and if he is capable of giving you the top treatment you deserve. If he can’t, you may need to walk away.
Some guys might be able to give you what you want but haven’t quite yet. In this case, you can try to find a way to pull back your efforts and let him prove his worth to you. If he doesn’t prove it, he’s either not that into you or just not up to par – whatever it is, he’s not the right guy for you. Keep your standards right where they are and move on.
Are you ready to start only accepting respect and moving towards the love life you desire? You can begin to find higher quality men and feel confident in your expectations. If you’re ready for change, don’t miss my FREE video training course, How to Be Your Own Brand of Sexy in 5 Simple Steps. You’ll find tons of dating advice to help you find the guy you’ve been waiting for over a series of 3 videos. You can find out how to be your own Brand of Sexy and transform your love life forever, starting today!