How Do You Get Top Treatment from Men?


It’s unfortunate, but it’s true: many women today allow men to get away with almost whatever they want.

In fact, many men have gotten so used to women chasing them that they see no point in putting in much effort during the dating process… after all, why should they?

Think about it. Women call men and ask them out. They pay on dates, text the guy constantly, and make themselves available at the drop of a dime. They have casual sex without asking for commitment first. Women do what seems like “normal” behavior in our culture rather than making their priority being treated well by men.

What’s the problem?

If you don’t expect respect and top treatment from men, you’re probably not going to get it.

Why It’s Worth It to Demand Top Treatment

Women are often scared to go against the crowd and insist on being treated well. Many of us make excuses for men and try to convince ourselves that everything is fine, often because we are afraid of losing the man. With good reason – there is the possibility that the guy won’t call you back once you insist on higher standards. But that’s okay. In the end, a man who isn’t treating you well is not going to make you happy.

You’re much better off weeding out the men who aren’t willing to give you top treatment. Simply put, they aren’t that into you and they won’t make you happy anyway. If you are trying to pretend you are okay with things that you really aren’t comfortable with, that won’t help either. You’re just letting him treat you badly and sending the message that this behavior is okay. A man who likes you will at least try to make you happy from the beginning, even if he is not always successful.

Jenny and Amanda are two women who are hoping to hit it off on upcoming dates. Check out what happens when one woman is clear about what kind of treatment she expects, while the other “goes with the flow”:

Jenny was very excited to meet Tim at a party. He was just what she was looking for: attractive, smart, successful, and fun. She was delighted when he finally texted to ask her out. She felt comfortable with him, so she let him pick her up at her place. Twenty minutes after his designated arrival time, he still hadn’t shown up or contacted her to say he’d be late. Once he finally arrived, Jenny was so happy to see him that she didn’t want to ruin the mood by making a fuss. Anyway, she told herself, he was probably late because of traffic or something similar. Jenny really enjoyed their date and was thrilled when he asked her out again. At the next date, Tim was 45 minutes late to pick her up without any notice.

Amanda recently started dating Peter. Peter seemed like a nice guy and checked almost every box on her list of what she wanted in a man. On their first date, Peter showed up over 20 minutes late without sending her any forewarning or apology. Amanda knew she would have to say something immediately because she was setting the stage for their entire relationship. She didn’t want to get involved with a man who wasn’t going to treat her well. So when he finally showed up, she just made a simple joke, “You’re lucky I waited for you.” Peter quickly apologized and was always careful to contact her if he was going to be late in the future.

Don’t Let Him Take You for Granted – Expect Respect!

So what caused Jenny and Amanda to have different dating experiences in the end? Jenny wanted to make the relationship work at the expense of her feelings. Amanda wanted to be treated well whether the relationship lasted or not. By not putting her need for respect over her fear of losing him, Jenny was setting herself up for unhappiness and the relationship up for failure. Amanda knew that she wouldn’t be happy with a relationship like that if his behavior didn’t shape up. What’s the bottom line?

Expect respect.

Don’t let guys take you for granted anymore. Focus on your primary goal. Do you want to change your mindset so that you can focus on being treated well by men instead of being stuck in the same old patterns? If you’re ready for change, don’t miss my FREE video training course, How to Be Your Own Brand of Sexy in 5 Simple Steps. Over a series of 3 videos, I share lots of dating tips on love, sex, and relationships for women who are tired of being taken for granted by the men they are dating. Watch them all to help you finally get the kind of top treatment you want from the men you date. I encourage you to share your comments or questions on this topic with the BYOBOS community – I’ll personally respond.

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  • Sheila says:

    I’m a 60yr old female with some medical problems & fighting with my weight.I’m in terrible shape & I hate looking at myself naked in the mirror.I’ve been divorced since 2003.I guess I would be very embarrassed if I did meet someone that I wanted to be involved or intimate with…My legs are completely covered with cellulite, my breasts are really starting to droop & my stomach is starting to sag & enlarge the older I get.I most definitely want to join a gym ASAP.I guess I’ve been alone( since my divorce)for so long I just didn’t realize how fast I was getting completely out of shape & had no hope for a relationship.My children are adults & I do have 8 grandchildren whom I love dearly(My oldest granddaughter is going to be 22yrs old this yr)and they’re busy with their future now,so I don’t see or enjoy them as much as I would like…After my divorce I enjoyed my grandchildren,like I did before my last marriage & never once considered or thought about meeting someone to spend time with,dating or how if & when I did decide I wanted to meet someone special where would I meet someone….I met one man online,I flew to Texas to meet & he looked nothing like his picture on the site.We talked for almost a yr on the phone before I decided to take him up on his offer to buy me a roundtrip ticket from Michigan to Texas,I enjoyed the flight & sightseeing more than I enjoyed meeting him.He was 68yrs old & lied about all we would do when I visited. It surely wasn’t a love connection. Lol I am a young 60yr old,even though I’m terribly out of shape & he was a very dull self absorbed individual who exaggerated all he had told me about himself. Since I actually went off the site &decided I’d try another way to meet someone,well that was more then 3yrs ago & I’ve been alone for quite awhile.I don’t own a car so it’s difficult to go anywhere to meet the one I’d love to spend time with & look forward to the future with.I’m a little old fashioned when it comes to dating,so I love being your own kinda sexy & respect all you write about,there’s alot of difference I believe with my age group because we were raised alot less liberated.I just had to write to you & tell you about my experience with my online relationship.I had quite a few men I chatted with on the same site before I went off the site.Men who lived closer & asked me to go on dates with them,but I never accepted any of their offers.Maybe I should’ve…Still alone….

    • Dr. Susan says:

      Hi Sheila,

      It’s so nice to hear from you!

      I get so many comments from women who are so worried about how they look on the outside.

      Do you realize that you don’t have to be in great shape to meet a nice man?

      A lot of men aren’t in great shape either and are looking for a good companion and a nice person.

      Don’t forget your inner beauty when you are so critical of your appearance. You’re so much more than how you look.

      Did you see this video I made? How to Be Attractive to Men No Matter How You Look.

      I think it might give you another perspective.

      Being old-fashioned still works today.

      I know online dating has it’s problems.

      I’m not sure I’d ever recommend flying to meet a man the first time, even if he pays for the trip.

      It’s easier for you if he flies to you.

      Please help me understand why you didn’t meet the men who lived closer to you?


      Dr. Susan

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