You’ve probably heard men talk about women as being high or low maintenance. A man might say you are high maintenance if you cause a lot of problems in your relationship or are very demanding. At other times, high maintenance might simply refer to you having high standards. So, it may be confusing whether “high maintenance” is a good or bad thing.
There is nothing wrong with having high standards, even if a man isn’t quite pleased with that and complains that you are high maintenance. In fact, if you are too agreeable, you might not get your needs met in a relationship. You have to determine what works for YOU in a relationship, regardless of what a particular man thinks.
Being easygoing is different than suppressing your needs. You can be easy to get along with, but still keep high standards in dating and for your relationships.
Here are some ways to be high maintenance in terms of keeping your high standards, but to express it in a low maintenance, easy-going kind of way. It’s good for you to practice these ways to communicate because they prepare you for a healthy communication style once you are in a committed relationship.
These are also the most effective ways to keep your high standards:
High Maintenance Tip #1: Don’t Be Demanding.
There is no need to create a lot of drama. Don’t insist that a man meet your needs. He has a choice – either he wants to make you happy or he’s not that into you. For example, if you have been dating for a while and he doesn’t want a committed relationship but you do, then you are not a match.
You have a choice whether to continue to see him or not. Why stay with him when he doesn’t want what you want?
High Maintenance Tip #2: Turn Down What You Don’t Want with Grace and Dignity.
Saying “no” to what you don’t want is critical to keeping your high standards. If he won’t commit, yet you keep agreeing to go out with him, then you are ignoring your needs and not being true to yourself.
Your ability to say “no” is important in dating and every relationship you have. If you aren’t very good at it, it may be time for you to get some practice. You’re more likely to get what you want if saying “no” to what you don’t want is part of your plan.
High Maintenance Tip #3: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
You don’t need to have a long talk where you tell him every gory detail of why you want him to commit. If you’re hurt or angry, save it for your girlfriends. All you have to say when it comes to that certain point is, “I don’t think this is working for me.” Or, you can just stop taking his calls. You make your point by not seeing him anymore, not necessarily by what you say to him.
Being high maintenance can work very well for you if you do it in the right way.
Ultimately, it isn’t really important if you are low or high maintenance. Dating is not a popularity contest. You are just looking for a good match.
What do you need to work on next?