When you are looking for a solid relationship, one of the most important things to pay attention to is if you are valued and treasured by your man. The way you approach every date with a prospective future partner sets the stage for that. If you see yourself as a prize that he must earn, he will look for ways to jump through hoops to make you happy. If you see yourself as a consolation prize, he may not work very hard because he doesn’t have to.
Which do you want to be?
Can I Be the Prize He Must Earn?
You probably admire other women for their beauty, confidence, or influence. Others probably look at you and see your wonderful qualities, but it might be hard for you to fully appreciate them.
If you think that confidence is the secret to getting a man to value you, you probably worry if you lack it. But there are ways to “fake it until you make it.” You just have to know what they are and practice them. Pretending to be confident lets you try it on for size, and it can even lead to you becoming more confident.
You just have to decide: do you want to be the prize he desires or are you willing to settle for being a consolation prize?
If you want to be his prize, you must act like you are a quality woman.
So how can you do that? Here are 7 ways:
Act Like a Prize Secret #1: Treat Him like Everyone Else
So what if he’s a wealthy CEO who just sold his company for big bucks and donates to charities? Your frequent gushing about his accomplishments might create an imbalance in his mind about which one of you is more valuable. When you don’t treat him as better, you become more valuable. As a high quality woman, you’ve dated high-level men before and he’s like them.
Act Like a Prize Secret #2: Don’t Brag
Of course, you want to answer his questions about what you do for a living or your hobbies, but you don’t need to tell him that you are the top salesperson at your company or how you are an expert. You have nothing to prove. Telling him these kinds of things makes you look like you are seeking his approval. A high quality woman doesn’t need his reassurance.
Act Like a Prize Secret #3: Be a Little Mysterious
Don’t tell him everything about you on the first few dates. Don’t answer all his questions. Let him wonder about you and want to get to know you better. It takes time to get to know a high quality woman.
Want some ideas about which questions to answer and how to respond to the ones you don’t want to answer? Read pages 157-8 in Be Your Own Brand of Sexy to give you some ideas of what you could say that sounds like you.
Act Like a Prize Secret #4: Don’t Need a Man
Of course, having a solid relationship with a good man can greatly improve your life, but you can live without it. If you already have a great life with good friends and fun activities, you won’t feel as desperate to see or talk with him. You’re busy! He’ll naturally see that you have a lot going on with your own fabulous life and wonder what you are up to.
Act Like a Prize Secret #5: Accept That Rejection Is a Universal Part of Dating
I’m sorry to break it to you, but not every man is going to be interested in you. That fact is true for everyone in the dating world. It doesn’t mean you aren’t fabulous. You are just not a match. There is no reason to feel bad about yourself.
Act Like a Prize Secret #6: Enforce High Standards
A woman who sees herself as a prize doesn’t settle. When you stick around if a guy isn’t treating you like a million dollars or is not a match for you, you are settling. Men don’t work harder to make you happy when you are willing to settle for less.
Act Like a Prize Secret #7: Pace Yourself
Don’t be overly eager with information about yourself or sex or commitment. Take the time to let a man woo you. See if he can earn your trust. In this way, you are giving him time to sort out his feelings while you are making sure that he is a good match for you. There is no need for a high quality woman to make herself vulnerable with a man unless he expresses his feelings for her. The right man will wait.
Practice being the prize, whether you are confident or not.
Which secret will you work on? Leave us a message below.