Human beings are social creatures, and as such, we consciously and subconsciously like to influence others. This type of behavior is especially common in close, intimate relationships. When you’re interested in a man you’re dating, inevitably, you will want to influence him in some way. What can this look like? It’s different for every relationship and what your goals are for romance.
Maybe you’d like him to spend more time with you, or text you more often. Perhaps you prefer dates that center around outdoor activities instead of the usual dinner and a movie. But asking for what you want directly can often backfire. Why is that? It might seem weird and counter-intuitive that direct communication can sabotage romance. But unfortunately, it’s true, particularly for the early phases of a romantic relationship.
For example, if you have only recently met, he may be dating other women and may not be so sure that you’re the one. When you seem more interested in him than he is interested in you, you can give him the message that he doesn’t have any real competition for your attention. In that case, he can feel that there isn’t much chance of losing your attention, so he doesn’t have to work very hard to win you over. Although you are asking for more attention, he may give you less. He might even begin to take you for granted.
While dating relationships are still relationships and part of the social realm, the way they work is very different compared to things like platonic friendships, or work-based relationships. They take special care. The way you influence a man you’re dating will differ significantly compared to how you would influence others.
The dating partner you are interested in and want to influence may appear to meet your standards and check all the boxes on your checklist. But believe it or not, those requirements may not be everything you need to look for in a dating partner. You also want a man who’s into you and who is willing to be influenced. You may not be able to determine either one of those important criteria on your first few dates. If you’re already seriously into him, you might be ignoring the importance of these critical factors. You also could be sabotaging your budding relationship by minimizing their importance.
So, what are the most effective ways to influence a man you’re dating?
- Don’t be afraid to play the field.
When you’re meeting other men, it can help you stay busy so that you aren’t so focused on whether one man is interested in you or not. Playing the field and keeping your options open in the beginning also gives you more flexibility and can reduce some of your anxieties around dating. You’ll feel more hopeful that somebody else may come along if it doesn’t work out with a particular man. You might be wildly attracted to him, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the feeling is mutual.
- Cultivate the right attitude.
When you’re desperately afraid of losing one particular guy, you risk giving off a clingy or needy vibe that can be very unattractive to someone who doesn’t have the same level of strong feelings for you yet. It’s best to have an approach that’s more like a playful, “convince me.” The dating vibe you want to go for is that you’re interested in getting to know him better, but you’re not sold on him yet. After all, you still need to know how much he’s into you and whether you can influence him.
- Say “yes” to what you want and “no” to what you don’t.
When you’re being Your Own Brand of Sexy, you know what you want, what you don’t, and you know how to express yourself in an effective, constructive way. This allows you to avoid “overreacting” and pushing him away before you get a chance to let love bloom and take its course. Being Your Own Brand of Sexy is a much better way to find out whether you can influence a man, and if he’s genuinely into you. A man who’s into you and can be influenced will make an effort to shape his behavior to make you happy. If he isn’t able to be influenced, and if he isn’t that into you, he’ll only make a half-hearted attempt or won’t bother to woo you at all. Then you know that he’s not the man for you.
Learning how to Be Your Own Brand of Sexy is one way to get what you want from men. But my FREE webinar will also show you how to influence a man and transform your love life into the romance you’ve always wanted. Sign up today.
Do you think you have the ability to influence a man? What have you done to increase the romance in your life? Leave a comment below and let us know what you’re doing to be Your Own Brand of Sexy.