Many women are conflicted about making plans to get what they want from men. Does it make you nervous to talk about strategies with dating and relationships? Some women argue that standing up for yourself or having any strategy is playing games with men or is manipulation in relationships, while others swear by these methods to navigate the complex world of dating and love. One example of a strategy is standing up for yourself by setting boundaries with men. We’ll discuss how to implement this strategy in this article. In my experience, having a strategic approach in relationships isn’t just practical; it’s necessary. It can prevent you from playing guessing games with men about where they stand or feeling manipulated.
If strategies are so useful, why do they have such a bad reputation? Critics argue that they can make interactions feel fake or manipulative. However, when done right, a strategy is a tool that enhances authenticity by guiding you toward partners who share your values and aspirations. Doing what works for you is being your best self and living your best life. That’s genuine, not fake. You can’t manipulate a man. Either he wants to be with you and make you happy or he doesn’t.
Some people are simply uncomfortable with being more powerful. Making a stand can bring up any fears of conflict. If you disagree or say ‘no” to someone, you might be afraid of rejection or that he won’t like you.
Let’s take Wendy for example.
Wendy doesn’t believe in strategies because she doesn’t want to play games with men. When she met Robert, they really hit it off. Lately Robert assumes that they’ll “hang out” rather than go out. Also, he never offers to come to her place, so she’s always making the drive to his apartment. She’s afraid to bring up her concerns and rock the boat because she prefers having a boyfriend to being single again.
Standing up for herself could help Wendy navigate this problem in her relationship with Robert. How could it help her? Here are the different ways that it can help you and Wendy be more successful in your dating and relationship journey:
1- Makes decisions easier.
Unspoken rules or strategies guide our decisions like a roadmap, helping us navigate the ups and downs of the dating world. When you stand up for what you want, you can steer clear of potholes and rocks, so you don’t get battered and bruised.
Although Wendy isn’t happy, she’s playing a guessing game with Robert, wondering what the problem is in their relationship and letting Robert take her for granted. She’s avoiding making any decisions.
If Wendy knew exactly what she wanted in a partner and was empowered to set clear expectations in her dating life, she would not want a relationship where she would feel taken for granted. She would know she must address their problem.
2- Makes dating more efficient.
Having a dating strategy can save time and heartache. It helps you identify potential partners who align with your goals and values, ensuring you’re investing your time wisely.
Wendy isn’t concerned about wasting time in a relationship that is going nowhere. She may stay in this unsatisfying relationship with Robert for a long time because her top priority is avoiding being alone. When your goal is lasting love, it takes much longer to get there when your relationships are time-wasters. It might end their relationship if she stands up to Robert, but at least she would know exactly where she stands.
3- Better communication.
Not everyone is good at communicating in their relationships. Standing up for yourself is communicating clearly by saying “yes” to what you want and “no” to what you don’t want. If you can do that, then the ball is in his court. How he handles it will tell you if he’s right for you or not.
Unfortunately, Wendy is afraid to bring up her concerns about their relationship. It’s true that when you stand up for what you want, it may cause problems in a relationship. But, you can say “no” without having to get into a deep discussion of how you feel. Wendy could say, “I’m not up for driving tonight. Want to come here instead?”
4- Builds Trust.
Trust is the cornerstone of any successful partnership, and it’s no different in love. Expressing boundaries with men is a strategy that can build trust by setting expectations and creating a stable foundation.
If Wendy had the courage to set expectations and stand up to Robert to enforce them, it might build some trust in their relationship. He might respect her more for not letting him get away with taking her for granted. She might be more comfortable trusting him with her concerns in the future if he handled the conversation well.
5- Maximizes Compatibility.
A strategy like standing up for yourself can help you find a partner who complements your personality and goals, increasing your chances of a fulfilling connection.
Although Wendy might find the courage to express her concerns to Robert, he may not care how she feels, and he could break things off between them. Although breakups can be miserable, staying in a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs has a lot of problems and prevents you from moving on to someone who is a better match. Ultimately, a relationship works better with a partner who cares how you feel and wants to make you happy.
Bottom Line
Have you been playing games with men? Having some well thought out strategies like setting limits with men is your secret weapon to avoid it. Flying by the seat of your pants will give you hit or miss results. Just as you wouldn’t navigate a complex business deal without a plan, relationships benefit from thoughtful strategies to get what you want.
So, here’s the real game changer: Don’t dismiss strategies; embrace them. A well-considered approach in your relationships can be the key to finding lasting love and happiness.
Leave us a comment below. How do you feel about strategies with dating? Be honest!
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