Last week I talked about showing gratitude to the men in your life in a healthy way. This week in our thankfulness series, I want to remind you how important it is to show gratitude to yourself. Perhaps you’re just starting to love and accept yourself, or maybe you’ve been working hard to love all of what makes you so terrific. In my 31 years of helping women find their own path to the relationship of their dreams, I’ve learned that good self-esteem, what you think about yourself, is crucial for relationships to thrive.
It’s important for you to take stock of the things you’re doing right. If you’re not there yet, let these serve as goals that you can achieve on your journey to being your own Brand of Sexy, which is to say your journey to learning what works best for you so you can get the relationship that you want and on your own terms.
- When past relationships fell apart, you know that it was because they weren’t the right relationship for you at the time. You’re no longer putting the blame solely on your shoulders or on his. You’re learning what works and what doesn’t, and moving forward.
- You prioritize yourself, your needs and your emotions. You aren’t letting anyone pressure you into doing things you don’t want! Remember: If he’s not listening to your voice, move on.
- You’ve learned how to trust yourself and your instincts and no longer second-guess what to say or whether it’s too much or too little. (If you’re still learning this one, I can help you with my eBook, What to Say to Men on a Date.
- You’re slowing down to enjoy courtship, and as a result, you’re learning more about the men you date as well as about yourself! As I say in my book Be Your Own Brand of Sexy, slow is sexy! You’re letting him show you who he really is and if he’s worthy of your time. You value yourself, and as a result, you’ll attract men who will, too.
Leaning these things about yourself and applying them to how you approach relationships takes work. It won’t happen overnight, but it can happen. Maybe your first step is to stop intrusive negative thoughts about yourself. It can be as simple as redirecting the thought from “Ugh, my body looks weird,” to “This dress doesn’t flatter my figure.” Take stock of what it is about yourself that you like. Are you a great friend? Compassionate? Do you have an infectious laugh? Are you a sports nut or have a thing for cutting-edge fashion? Whatever it is about you that makes you feel confident, that’s a part of your own Brand of Sexy. Embrace it!
As important as it is to know who you are, so is knowing who you are not. If you hate the thought of breaking a nail and a sweat, accepting a date for rock climbing in July seems like a bad choice for a fun day out with a new guy. Knowing these things will help you make smart choices down the road. You’ll be better equipped to choose which men are worth your time, better able to spot men who won’t listen to your voice, and you’ll be confident enough to say “no” to situations and men who don’t meet your terms. All of this self-reflection and realization leads you to discovering what your own Brand of Sexy is. That in turn will help you get the relationship and man of whom you’ve always dreamed.
When you know what you want and need in a relationship, you’ll be more confident in knowing to wait until Mr. Right comes along instead of settling with Mr. Right Now.
Taking the time to be proud of yourself for all the positive changes you’re making in your life is necessary. And as essential as it is to show compassion to others, it’s equally as important to show it to yourself. Don’t forget, you’re a catch!
What are you proud of? I’d love to hear from you here in comments, or with our community of women on Facebook and Twitter.
You can do this. You are doing this! Every step you’re taking towards feeling good about yourself brings you that much closer to finding your own Brand of Sexy. And when you know what that is, you can have the relationship of your dreams!
Are you being your own Brand of Sexy? Take my quiz to find out!