When you want a partner, it can be hard to enjoy your single status. Maybe you just got out of a long relationship and feel lonely. Maybe all your friends are married, and you feel like a third wheel. Your family might be pressuring you to settle down. You might be afraid that your time is running out to have kids, or you may feel too old to meet a good man. Maybe being alone has always been hard for you.
What can make your situation feel worse is hearing those dreaded questions:
“Why are you still single? “ or
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
You might react to them by doubting yourself and feeling unhappy to be single.
Whatever your situation, figuring out how to be happy when you’re single is one of the best things you can do for yourself. That’s because when you feel generally happy despite your relationship status, your weight, your health, or other factors, life gets easier for you.
Being comfortable with being single can make life easier in many ways. You do not need to rush into the wrong relationship, and you can easily wait for the right person to come along.
So how can you learn to be happy being single? It’s not easy, but here are some lessons that can help!
How to Enjoy Being Single Lesson #1: Discover Why You Aren’t Happy Being Single
There must be a reason why being single bugs you.
Is it hard for you to be alone? Do you feel less than others who are coupled? Do you need a partner’s reassurance to feel good about yourself?
Write down your reasons, figure out where these feelings come from and ask yourself if there might be a healthier way to approach being single.
How to Enjoy Being Single Lesson #2: Appreciate the Benefits of Being Single
Being in a relationship can be wonderful, but it requires a lot of compromises. Now you can do whatever you want to do. Enjoy that freedom!
Being single gives you the opportunity for “me time” that you often don’t have when you’re in a relationship. You can develop new hobbies, work on your career, travel, make new friends, and more.
Ask yourself, what have you always wanted to do? Maybe this is the time for you to do it. All these things can lead to you becoming happier and more fulfilled.
This time also gives you the chance to explore who you are and what you want from your life. You can figure out what the right relationship for you would look like.
How to Enjoy Being Single Lesson #3: Know That Nobody Else Can Make You Happy
It’s critical to recognize that it’s you who determines whether or not you’re happy. It’s true whether you’re in a relationship or you’re single. If you’re in a relationship that makes you unhappy, it’s usually because you choose to stay in it.
Finding a partner doesn’t change your level of happiness, just like losing 10 pounds won’t. You can choose to have more power over this part of your life.
How to Enjoy Being Single Lesson #4: Practice Gratitude
Gratitude makes people happier. Here’s an example: Which of the following would make you happier? Think of being single as a good way to meet new people while you discover what kind of partner would work best for you. Or thinking of it as a constant challenge that is depressing and hopeless.
How to Enjoy Being Single Lesson #5: Develop Friendships with Single People
When you’re single, it helps to have some single friends. They share a similar lifestyle and understand the trials and tribulations of being single. You can laugh about your bad dates and the questions that people ask. They may even help you to meet new single friends, including men.
How to Enjoy Being Single Lesson #6: Let Go of the Past
If you are grieving the end of a relationship or having lingering resentments or anger, you might be having trouble moving on. Sometimes childhood experiences can complicate the sense of loss. You might want to consider working with a professional to help you move past this step.
How to Enjoy Being Single Lesson #7 Practice Loving Yourself and Enjoying Your Company
Diane von Furstenburg said, “The most important relationship in your life is with yourself. Because no matter what happens you will always be with yourself.”
Be as kind and compassionate with yourself as you are with others. Take care of yourself in the way you hope someone else would take care of you. Love yourself in the way you would love someone else. You deserve it.
Welcome to being single. It’s the next step in your journey of self-discovery, healing, and development.
Where are you getting hung up in this process? Let me know in the comments.