Are all the good men taken? Where have they gone?
Women feel that looking for a good guy who is seriously interested in them is like looking for a needle in a haystack. They have already tried online dating, blind dates, and more. The men they meet end up being narcissists and players, guys looking for sugar mommas or just no-strings-attached sex and fun. The few times they thought they might have met a good guy, he seemed to lose interest or take them for granted after a short period of time.
What went wrong in these situations?
Believe it or not, there are plenty of good guys around. It might be hard for you to see what you might be doing to contribute to these disappointing experiences with your dates, but you’ve made very important progress when you can. Changing your approach to dating can make a tremendous difference in the quality of men that you meet and ultimately date.
So, what can you do to improve the chances of meeting quality men in your life? Follow these 5 steps:
1. Be aware of you
Many women don’t take the time to know themselves well. Maybe they are trying so hard to please the man or others in their lives or they forget to look at themselves. When you want a relationship, it’s important to know yourself well enough to figure out what you need in a relationship. What are your values and priorities in life? What matters to you when it comes to family, career, finances, health, and relationships? What are your beliefs about being in a relationship? Do you believe you deserve to get your needs met or do you feel (or act like) you should always put other people’s needs ahead of your own? You may have to question some of your long-standing beliefs in order to get the relationship you want. Take the time to understand yourself so you can make better decisions about potential partners.
2. Identify your needs.
Everyone has needs in a relationship, and you must know yours in order to help you determine if a potential partner is really a good match for you. When you know what works for you, you can be selective in your choices and more careful about screening men before sharing a lot about yourself and needlessly investing your time and emotional energy. How committed do you want your partner to be? How much affection do you prefer? Are you eager for open communication or do you like to avoid talking about feelings? What do you need in terms of consideration and trust? Were any of these areas a problem for you in past relationships? If so, it can help you to decide what you need and what you want to avoid in future relationships. Loving the wrong person teaches you the red flags to watch out for next time.
3. Don’t settle
How do you stop attracting narcissists and the wrong men? Don’t let them in your heart. When you are clear on your non-negotiable dealbreakers, it’s possible for you to pass on a relationship that won’t work for you. Making good dating decisions is all about saying “yes” to what you want and “no” to what you don’t want. The problem is, it can sometimes be hard to say “no” to a man when you really like him, want to please him, or are afraid of being alone. But, when you settle, it isn’t really taking good care of yourself. You might spend a lot of time and energy on someone who isn’t right for you. And then you might just end up believing that there are no good men out there when you actually chose to take yourself off the market with a man instead of looking for a better match. When you set your dating standards according to what is important to you, it isn’t about playing any games – you’re standing up for your needs.
4. Be your own person.
When you say “no” to a bad match, you are taking steps to being true to yourself. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but it can get easier with time and practice. The more you become your true, authentic self, the more you show a partner the real you. How can he fall in love with you if you aren’t being true to yourself? This process will naturally help you gravitate toward people who are better matches for you which will greatly simplify your love life. Knowing whether you are truly compatible will become more obvious. What attracts you to a man will become more about whether he can meet your needs. Flirting will become easier for you because you’ll feel more comfortable expressing the real you. In fact, when you become more of your own person, making decisions in every area of your life gets easier.
5. Be persistent.
Dating can be a difficult process filled with rejection, bad dates, and disappointment. Expect to feel discouraged sometimes along the way. If you want to end up in a solid relationship, persistence always pays off. See your dating journey as a learning experience that will show you what you need to know to finally reach the relationship of your dreams.
Your next success steps:
Where do you stand? Do you want to transform your love life?
Are you ready to start NOW?
Being your own Brand of Sexy is being your own person in the dating world. It means figuring out what you want, what works for you as an individual, and what approaches will help you achieve your relationship goals, whatever they may be.
Take my FREE dating quiz and get a custom video based on your dating style, so that you can discover your next steps to making the best decisions in your love life – in as little as an hour.
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