After her 20-year marriage ended, Emily found herself terrified at the prospect of dating again. The world had changed so much since she was last single. But her friends kept insisting she try online dating.
Hesitantly, Emily created a profile and was instantly bombarded with matches and messages. She went on a flurry of first dates, trying to keep up with the fast pace everyone else seemed to be moving at. Men frequently texted her and pushed for more of a physical connection.
Jake pushed to become exclusive after just two dates. Tom got upset when Emily wouldn’t introduce him to her kids after a month. The relentless push for quick intimacy left Emily feeling rushed and uneasy—she wasn’t ready to move that fast. The casual and accelerated modern dating process felt overwhelming.
Just when she thought about deleting her profile and giving up, Emily met Paul. An old-fashioned gentleman, Paul followed the courtship style of dating. He planned thoughtful activities in advance, opened doors for her, and took things at a gradual pace. There were no demands, just two people getting to know each other.
With Paul, Emily could simply enjoy the experience without immense pressure. She realized that was what she needed after her marriage- the time and space to decide if this was someone she truly wanted to commit to long-term again. The old-fashioned relationship way gave her that.
What Are the Advantages of Old-Fashioned Romance?
In previous romantic eras, a woman didn’t have a lot of options. Divorce was shameful, and a woman might have to choose a husband based on her family’s wishes. But let’s not demonize old fashioned romance because it does have the following advantages, especially if you adapt it to modern times:
1- You Can Tell If He’s Serious About You.
Relationships are two-way streets. Yes, you may be attracted to him, but what’s he doing to earn your trust? Is he respectful of your boundaries? Is he pushing you to move forward a little too much, almost ignoring the signs that you’re clearly not ready yet?
Going the old-fashioned dating route helps you see if he’s looking to build something long lasting or just wants to have some fun. A man who is serious about you wants to make you happy. He knows he must respect your boundaries and earn your trust, so he’s willing to take it slow even when it comes to online dating, where things may seem stuck in fast forward.
2- It Can Protect Your Heart.
Waiting until you get physically involved with a man allows you to take your time and find out what kind of man he is, and whether you can trust him.
It’s not uncommon for people to become attached or emotionally connected after a lot of touching or having sex. Believe it or not, this is perfectly normal.
But when you become attached to a man, it can be harder to see those crucial faults that end up dooming a relationship. That old phrase, “Love is blind” is true. When you keep some distance, you can be more objective about the prospects for your future.
3- It Helps You Determine Compatibility.
When you quickly get sexually involved, other aspects of a relationship can be left on the sidelines. For example, is he a good communicator? Do you like his sense of humor? Does he face problems or prefer to avoid them? These are the qualities that make a big difference in whether your relationship lasts.
To have a happy, healthy relationship, it helps to have several areas of compatibility. The more time you take to know him, the better picture you’ll get of whether your relationship has a long-lasting future.
4- It Builds Mystery And Chemistry.
With an old-fashioned dating approach, the excitement builds gradually. If chemistry doesn’t spark immediately, it has time to smolder. The first kiss, the first hand-holding – these moments become delicious uncertainties to anticipate rather than rushed milestones.
This air of mystery can be intoxicating. He doesn’t know right away where he stands with you, which can intrigue and challenge him in an enticing way. You differentiate yourself by taking your time rather than caving to the pressure for instant intimacy.
The not-knowing builds suspense and keeps the courtship dynamic alive longer. There’s often a thrill in having to slowly win someone over. As the old saying goes – absence makes the heart grow fonder. The buildup stokes desire.
By practicing restraint, you create an alluring sense of anticipation. Chemistry has room to develop at its own tantalizing pace rather than being forced too soon. The culmination is more exciting because of the tension created along the way.
5- Demonstrates Self-Respect and Discernment.
By holding off on sex until you’ve established a strong emotional connection, you avoid giving the impression you may lack impulse control or self-worth. Patience conveys you have a sense of personal value.
Exercising restraint demonstrates you have self-respect, boundaries, and discriminating values. It signals you are not someone who will rush into intimacy without being properly courted and vetted.
A partner must invest real time and effort into getting to know all of you, not just your physical attributes. This allows you to filter for someone who appreciates courtship rather than rushing the finish line.
Your selectiveness distinguishes you from women who are more casual about sexual intimacy. A man’s respect and esteem for you can increase when he appreciates your discriminating values.
Bottom Line
Old-fashioned dating allows you to get to know someone before making a commitment. The gradual approach gives you time to evaluate compatibility. Modern dating can propel intimacy too quickly.
The courtship rituals of old add excitement and anticipation. Getting dressed up, opening doors, bringing flowers – these romantic gestures build chemistry.
With old-fashioned romance ideas, chivalry and manners are celebrated, not seen as antiquated. Having a partner who strives to be a gentleman can make a woman feel cherished.
By blending the best of traditional dating with modern relationship norms, you can have the advantages of both worlds – taking it slow while still respecting equality.
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