Have you ever had that sinking feeling when you felt a man pull away from you?
All of a sudden, he’s not texting or calling as often. He’s not making plans with you. He might text you back if you reach out to him, but the affection and the attention are not the same.
You can feel he’s becoming distant. Maybe he even ghosted you and simply disappeared into thin air. There you were thinking that everything was going really well between you two. Why did he pull away? Understandably, you might feel confused, helpless, and possibly afraid to lose him. What went wrong?
Here are 5 reasons why men pull away and what you can do when it happens:
#1: He’s Busy
Whether his focus has moved to work, school, or family commitments, he is not spending as much energy on you and your relationship. It’s perfectly natural for a man to have other priorities besides you in his life and balancing them can be challenging sometimes. As long as you feel like he isn’t avoiding your relationship and he is still making you a priority, this might be the natural flow in your relationship. It may not be possible to have the same level of romance and attention when he has a big work project or someone in his family is ill.
If his reasons are legitimate and you are in a committed relationship, you don’t want to panic if he pulls away or demands more time alone when he’s overwhelmed. You want to support him and give him some space. At some point, you may be busy and need space too. Having some space in a relationship can be very healthy, and you don’t have to be afraid of it.
Of course, you might be concerned about how long his other commitments will last. It’s OK to ask if he’ll have more free time when his project ends. It is good for you to know if he will have free time for you or loves being busy.
#2: He’s Not into You
It’s possible this man is simply not as into you as you may have thought. He might be considering dating others, Is he seeing someone else. As painful as it may be, just because he had great chemistry with you doesn’t mean he can’t find that elsewhere.
If he’s not that into you, you want to let him go. You may be tempted to pin a man down to find out the reason why he disappeared. In the end, it can cause more hurt. Who likes hearing there is no spark? It’s time for you to move on.
#3: He’s Emotionally Unavailable
When a man is emotionally unavailable, his pattern is to run away from relationships. You need to understand that the issue is not with you and there was nothing you could do to change his behavior. Maybe he isn’t ready to be vulnerable enough to sustain a relationship. He might crave his independence; he might even have some deep-seated feeling that he doesn’t deserve love and happiness. He probably doesn’t understand the reasons why he is pulling away, so don’t bother to chase him down for answers. This man is doing you a favor by disappearing. He can’t form a healthy, happy relationship.
Once he gets what he wants, he is unable to sustain the relationship. If he told you he didn’t want a relationship, but you ignored his warning and jumped into a relationship with him, then you may want to address why you ignored such a prominent red flag.
Maybe his pattern was not that obvious, but that is one of the best reasons to take your time and get to know a man before you get invested emotionally or physically. Protect your heart and don’t get involved until there are clear signs that he wants a serious relationship with you and can sustain one.
#4: You Pursue
When you are telling him how much you like him and pushing the relationship forward, you can lower your value in his eyes. He may wonder why you are so into him and wonder if you are desperate or needy. When you let him lead the relationship, you have the power to say “yes” or “no” to his requests. When you slow down and pace the relationship, you are more likely to create a dynamic where he is pursuing you. This is not about manipulating him, it’s about creating a healthy long-term relationship. It takes time to get to know a man and to discover whether your relationship has a future.
#5: Bad Timing
There are times when you might hit it off with a man, but the timing is all wrong. Often this can happen when a man has had a recent breakup or loss. He might still be processing the end of that relationship and is not ready to love again. He might choose a relationship for comfort without regard to long term compatibility. In other words, you could be in a rebound relationship.
Sometimes the timing is bad because he has too many other commitments that he isn’t able to drop to be able to sustain a relationship with you. For example, he might be sharing childcare with his ex and caring for an elderly relative on top of working at a stressful job. He just doesn’t have any more emotional energy for your relationship because he’s exhausted.
Should You Call for Closure?
Many women want some resolution or understanding of why he is pulling away. They feel a conversation with him can help them to move on.
In many cases, as described above, he may not be able to give you the answers you seek. Looking for answers may just keep you hanging on to a dead-end relationship. Discussing your feelings with a man who has already moved on might leave you feeling even more alone.
Believe it or not, you don’t always have to have a conversation with him to get closure. You can grieve and move on.
Only you can decide what is best for you.
Don’t let your emotions get the best of you when a man pulls away. Be conscious and deliberate in how you react.
What do you think is the best way to handle it when a man pulls away? Leave us a comment below. We love to hear from you.