Great strides were made in the last few decades for women, particularly where women were given more choices to find themselves and their individual paths. Women said “no” to being required to conform to the role of a 1950s-style Happy Homemaker. However, rather than follow our own paths, many of us are still conforming, only now it’s to a new, hyper-sexualized ideal. We went from “if you have sex before marriage, you’re a tramp” to “if you’re a virgin, you’re a prude.”
Being your own Brand of Sexy means figuring out what you want, what works for you as an individual, and what strategies will help you reach your relationship goals, whatever they may be.
The Five Guidelines to Dating Success by Being Your Own Brand of Sexy
- You always have a choice.
- Media and peer pressure solutions might not be right for you.
- Slow can be sexy.
- Your voice matters.
- If a guy isn’t respecting your voice, move on.
This week we’ll discuss media and peer pressure, and how the image of an “airbrushed, Botoxed, back-lit bombshell sex goddess” isn’t the best role model for women. We’re constantly bombarded with perfect-looking, Photoshopped models and celebrities everywhere we turn. These media pressures can leave us with negative opinions about ourselves, hammering in the harmful idea that there’s something wrong with our bodies. “My thighs are too big. My breasts are too small. Do I need plastic surgery to achieve that flawless look?” The beauty ideals crafted by these outside forces become normalized to a point where we buy into them!
Shows like Sex and the City glamorized hooking up, telling us all that a modern woman won’t get attached emotionally after a steamy fling. Oh, and that fling should happen by the third date, the arbitrary timeframe women are given to understand a man’s motives and decide to trust him enough to hop in the sack. If you’ve bought into this idea and yet you’re still unhappy, still unable to get what you want from men, then casual sex might not be for you. Perhaps you’ve been led to believe that a “modern woman” is above courtship and that romance is dead, that it’s old-fashioned wanting to be wooed by a man. But is there a part of you that still yearns for it? If so, then that’s a key element of what your own Brand of Sexy is. If you want a man to court you, to make you feel like the prize you are, then don’t settle for less!
Break Free From the Tyranny of Beauty and the Three-Date Rule
Being your own Brand of Sexy gives you the opportunity to break free of the tyranny of this “perfect beauty” culture. It can be done! We tell ourselves that if we look just the right way—often based off an impossible ideal—and we lead off with sex, we’ll end up with what we want from men when that couldn’t be further from the truth. (Click here to read the three things you should ask yourself before agreeing to sex.
So many women have casual sex because they aren’t sure how to say “no.” Click here for my eBook, What to Say to Men on a Date, which can help you say “no” with confidence. You’ll be able to pick the perfect response for you, from being serious to playful.
Making ourselves a priority by gaining confidence in ourselves and our appearance can give us the boost we need to get out there and get what we want. What are your good qualities? What do you love about yourself? Do you have an infectious laugh? Gorgeous shoulders? A kind and giving heart? A smile that makes others happy just to be around you? Embrace the wonderful things about yourself and remind yourself of them often. You deserve to like yourself, and you deserve to feel good.
When we can learn to love ourselves regardless of the width of our hips or the tightness of our abs, then we can fight back against the harmful messages media would have us believe that can be so damaging to our self-esteem. Maybe you’re not feeling confident just yet. The phrase “fake it ’til you make it” is there for a reason. When you pretend to be confident, others often treat you with more respect. More importantly, once you see you can do it, it can transform your life.
Learn to Love Yourself Instead of Being Enslaved to Unrealistic Beauty Standards
When you make less-than-ideal choices, choices that maybe go against your instinct or your emotional GPS, you’re sent down a costly detour, one filled with delay, heartbreak, and possibly not reaching your goals at all. Making the right choices for you puts you on the path to getting what you want. This is the heart of what it is to find your own Brand of Sexy. Learning who you are and what you really want from men or from a relationship is what will lead you to success.
This can be the year when you change your love life to one of which you’ve always dreamed. Read stories from other women learning to recognize patterns that keep them from achieving their goals. Download a FREE excerpt of my multi-award winning book here. You’ll learn what works best for you so that you can have your expectations met by the men you date. Start getting what you want from relationships. Be Your Own Brand of Sexy!
Join the revolution of women taking control of their love lives here and on Facebook. You can do this! Challenge yourself to break free of the tyranny of media pressures and find your way to the man and relationship you’ve always wanted in 2017!
Start today! Make a commitment to yourself to make 2017 different.