Unfortunately, when a woman over 40 feels a little insecure about her chance of dating success because of her age, she often focuses on improving her appearance.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with trying to look better and getting healthier. However, focusing only on these aspects may not move the needle in terms of your success with men.
When you live in a culture that glorifies youth, beauty, and wealth, it’s easy to become insecure if you don’t have one or more of those qualities. But the man you want is looking for a partner and a real woman, not a supermodel.
What will make the biggest difference in your dating success?
Read to the end of this article, and I will tell you the hidden benefit of learning these skills other than helping with your love life.
Here are the 5 skills that will make the greatest impact on your dating success:
Dating Success Skill for Over 40 Women #1: Clarity
When you’re over 40, you no longer have a lot of time to waste on being confused about men. You need to know what you want and what you don’t want. What are your must-haves and deal breakers?
Take a close look at your checklist of the qualities you require and make sure that you aren’t going to miss out on some wonderful man because you think he should be of a certain height or have a particular degree. You might be able to let some of these aspects go. However, when it comes to things like loyalty or honesty, there should be no compromises.
Dating Success Skill for Over 40 Women #2: Assertiveness
Communicating your desires is important. If you want to be able to set boundaries with a man, you must be able to say “yes” to what you want and “no” to what you don’t want. Of course, expressing yourself might be more subtle, but ideally, you want to encourage what you like and don’t agree with what makes you uncomfortable.
Dating Success Skill for Over 40 Women #3: Ability to Spot a Keeper
As I said, our culture glorifies beauty, wealth, confidence, and success. You might be influenced by these cultural norms and be very impressed by a man’s looks, money, confidence, or success. But, if those are your main criteria, that can be a good way to become attracted to a narcissistic or emotionally unavailable man.
The best qualities to make a relationship work are very different. Does he keep his commitments? Is he honest, loyal, and trustworthy? Don’t let the qualities that our culture tells you are important blind you to what you really need to make a relationship work.
Dating Success Skill for Over 40 Women #4: Know How to Create Attraction
We live in a “talk show culture” with a let-it-all-hang-out kind of mentality, so we can feel like we are expected to air our dirty laundry. Women often think the key to a man’s heart is to bond by confiding, but that can backfire. When you create an air of mystery and keep a little distance, he will probably want to get to know you better.
And although in TV and movies we see women hopping into bed when they hardly know the man, that often backfires as well. Rushing in doesn’t create mystery or the space to let him try to win you over. It also doesn’t protect your heart.
Dating Success Skill for Over 40 Women #5: Perseverance
Meeting the right man may take some time. You might feel lonely or battered and bruised from the potholes along the way. But don’t give up on your dream. The path to finding Mr. Right can be filled with life lessons that will probably help you to be a better partner when you finally do meet him.
The Secret Benefit to Learning Successful Dating Skills
And what is the hidden benefit to learning these skills other than helping with your love life? These skills will help you in every area of your life, not just with dating and relationships with men. They help to empower you on your journey in life.
For example, when you are clear about what you want and don’t want, and you can communicate that in effective ways using the right timing, you may be able to improve most of the difficult situations you face with a family member, or coworker, or boss.
Your Next Success Step:
Believe it or not, you do have the upper hand in some ways when you’re over 40 in the dating world. Sign up now to get my FREE guide: Dating over 40? Know Your 7 Secret Advantages.
Which skill do you want to work on next? Leave us a comment below.