So, you’ve met this guy and went on a few dates with him. Things were going well, but now you have this nagging feeling that something is off. “Is he seeing someone else?” you keep wondering to yourself.
Maybe you’ve been cheated on before and now you are extra cautious. Or maybe you want to make sure that he is serious about your relationship before you get more involved. All these are valid reasons to be wary.
The best approach is to listen to your intuition and pay attention to these signs. They might be a clue that he is seeing someone else.
When You Should Worry
If you just started dating and haven’t discussed being exclusive, then it’s OK for both of you to be seeing other people. Don’t assume you are monogamous just because you have had a few dates. Please avoid getting sexually involved without having this “talk,” or you may regret it later.
If you have had the “talk” and he said he wanted commitment, and now seems to be seeing other people, it’s a deal-breaker. If he changed his mind and wanted to see others, then he should have told you. Otherwise, this behavior is cheating and lying, and you deserve better. If he’s simply talking to someone as a friend, but it feels like cheating to you, you need to bring it up. This kind of behavior may still not be workable for you.
Here are some of the signs that he might be seeing someone else:
He’s Seeing Someone Else Sign #1. He Doesn’t Want to See You on Saturday Night
Saturday night is date night. If he isn’t trying to see you on Saturday night, then what is he doing? Either he is seeing someone else or he is not that into you, or both. You have to decide if you want a casual relationship with a man who is not into you. If you are looking for love, it is better to fade out of his life.
He’s Seeing Someone Else Sign #2. He Doesn’t Want You to Meet His Friends or to Meet Yours
A man who wants a serious commitment to you is proud to be with you. He will want to introduce you to his friends and to meet the important people in your life. If he is hesitant about it, then he may be seeing someone else or maybe he is not that into you. Either way, if you want more out of a relationship, it’s time to let this one go.
He’s Seeing Someone Else Sign #3. He Only Wants to See You for Booty Calls
Even if he used to take you on special dates, if now you only hang out and have sex, then it’s time for you to face how your relationship has deteriorated. Are you truly OK with only having a sexual relationship? If you aren’t sure, then consider how this man might be using you. He might be keeping you around in case his other relationship doesn’t work out. Or maybe he is afraid to end your relationship. If it is not working for you, it’s time to get out.
He’s Seeing Someone Else Sign #4. He Says He Wants to “Keep Things Casual”
At least this man is being open and honest about his intentions. Don’t think he will change his mind about you once he gets to know you. He wants to continue with you while he is seeing others. If you want to have a serious, committed relationship, he is not the man for you.
He’s Seeing Someone Else Sign #5. He Doesn’t Mention Your Future
He doesn’t feel comfortable when you bring up doing something in the future, and he isn’t making any plans with you down the road. Even if he was making plans with you when you first started dating, if he no longer wants to commit to the future, he may want to keep his options open with other women. Face how this relationship has degraded, and get out.
He’s Seeing Someone Else Sign #6. There Is Another Woman
Whether he is spending time with an ex or a coworker, even if he swears they are “just friends,” listen to your gut. Even if he accuses you of being paranoid, this may be a sign that he is seeing someone else.
He’s Seeing Someone Else Sign #7. You or Your Friends See Him with Other Women
It might be innocent if he’s in public with a female friend, but check out the body language. Are they away from each other and looking like friends or do they look a little too close and cozy? Use your instincts if he tells you they’re just friends.
It may take a man a couple of months to decide if he wants to be committed to you. Do you want a committed relationship? If so, then you have a choice. You can choose whether or not to be the one to bring up the topic of commitment. You may want to bring it up if you aren’t comfortable with how things are going and you don’t think he will bring it up.
Many women prefer the man to bring up that subject. If you want him to do it, then you can pull away a little and see if he notices and is concerned enough to talk about it. If not, he’ll let you go. Either way, you will have an answer about where he stands.
If you don’t want commitment, then it’s probably best for the two of you to be on the same page with dating others.