Confidence and self-esteem are not required for you to find and sustain love.
I know, this is the opposite of what you’ve constantly heard and been told in the last years.
If you believe the soul-crushing myth that you must fully love yourself before you can find a partner, it’s not your fault. In the western world, we are constantly bombarded with messages about how desirable it is to be beautiful, materialistic, and egocentric. Our confused culture sends messages to perfectly normal, sweet, and healthy people who would make great romantic partners that they are not beautiful, wealthy, successful, or “shiny” enough for love.
We are told that you need to learn to love yourself first before you can learn how to love others. Let this sink in for a second: your ability to care about other people can happen only when you can conjure up loving feelings about your reflection in the mirror. It is not true.
Although they may seem well intended and helpful, the idea of loving yourself fully before you can love others can lead to some unrealistic and toxic ideals. It might also make you feel less confident and competent when it comes to loving others.
That said, although utter self-confidence is not necessary in your search for a relationship, a touch of it can make the process easier for you. When you feel insecure about what you bring to a relationship, or you doubt your instincts and intuition in the dating process, you can become more nervous and uncertain. All that stress makes it harder for you to enjoy the dating process and it might narrow your choices in the dating pool if your nervousness makes the date awkward.
Confident Dating Belief #1: I’ll Meet Someone Eventually
A confident woman is not worried that she will never meet anyone. She knows she has a lot to offer the right man and wants to meet a lot of men to figure out which one is the best match for her. She is not desperately trying to find a partner because she fears she might end up alone, but explores and weighs her options very well.
Confident Dating Belief #2: I Can Wait
A confident woman does not want to rush into a relationship until she has the time to get to know whether he will be a good match for her. She wants to know whether he is interested in building a relationship and can make the kind of commitment she wants. She needs to know whether they will have the kind of relationship that she wants.
Confident Dating Belief #3: I Can Say “Yes” to What I Want and “No” to What I Don’t Want
A confident woman trusts her ability to make good dating decisions. She has faith in her instincts and intuition and feels comfortable setting boundaries with the men she dates. Whether a man asks questions that she feels are too personal or he pushes for sex before she is ready, she is comfortable with saying “no” in ways that are graceful and dignified.
Confident Dating Belief #4: I Can Tell If He’s a Keeper
A confident woman knows that she can tell the difference between a keeper and a man who is not good for her. She is not swayed by good looks, 6 pack abs, or wealth, because she wants a relationship with a man who will listen, support, and accept her, even if she is in a bad mood or not looking her best.
Confident Dating Belief #5: I Can Attract the Right Man for Me
A confident woman has realistic expectations. Not every man will find her attractive or interesting. That is OK with her, because she is only looking for one man. The right man for her will appreciate her inner beauty, rather than simply judging her based on her external appearance.
The only difference between you and a confident woman is how you think. You can learn the skills you need to become more confident in the dating process. You just need to take action now!
Take Action Questions:
Ask yourself these questions that can help you turn into a confident woman:
- Which of these beliefs would you like to start with?
- What is your plan to get started with changing that belief today?
- Would you like some help? Visit www.BeYourOwnBrandof Sexy.com/dating-relationship-books
What did you answer? Tell me in a comment. I love hearing from you.