If you’re reading this, your dating life might not be getting you to the place you want fast enough. In fact, at times you might feel like you’re stuck in a rut of bad dates and relationships that go nowhere. Do you ever wonder, “Why is my dating life so bad?” Judging from a lot of comments I’ve seen from my readers lately, many of you are facing this very issue.
Do you want to find a good man but don’t know how to actually make it happen? You may not know exactly where to start or where to find the motivation to take some essential leaps. All of this eventually brings you back to the same starting point: single, without the man of your dreams.
You can get out of this frustrating dating rut, and finally learn how to change your dating life for the better. Today, I am giving you five of my best dating tips to help you with this process. I know it can be difficult to shake any feeling of inertia you have and get out of this kind of rut. But this kind of journey can lead you to discover perspectives and approaches that are foreign to you, but that could give you the right fuel to move forward.
Have you ever tried to force yourself into a new habit, like eating healthier? If so, you know just how easy it is to give up and go back to the way things were. Wouldn’t it be great if we were naturally equipped to adopt new habits just by snapping our fingers? Unfortunately, people don’t work like that. In fact, research shows it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form new habits. While we all hope to be in the 18-day bracket, some of us might need to accept we need more time to change.
The important thing? William Edward Hickson said it best: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, and try again.” You can’t possibly succeed if you give up.
Your greatest assets in the dating journey are having a burning desire and persistence. They keep you going when the process is long and emotional.
5 Essential Dating Tips to Get Out of Your Rut
So, you’re stuck, and you want to change that and improve your love life. The good news is that you’re already at the right stage for change, which is the ‘READY TO GO’ mindset. But how do you go about it?
Here are my 5 dating tips to get unstuck:
#1: Create a vision of the relationship you want.
Close your eyes, and try to picture where you want your dating journey to take you.
Ask yourself, what do you want, in the end? A committed relationship with an amazing man? Be specific. What does that great relationship look like? How does he make you feel? Do you have shared values and interests? Good communication? How can you identify that great guy from the sea of men who won’t work out unless you have a crystal-clear picture?
How will this improve your love life? Through this exercise, you can build a vivid picture of your goals, which can motivate you to overcome any inertia you may be feeling.
#2: Take baby steps.
Reaching for the stars sounds good on paper, but in the real world, having unrealistic expectations can be too discouraging. Break down those major goals into bite size chunks. What are your next steps? What should you work on first?
How much time can you realistically dedicate to working on your dating life? Put it in your calendar to make sure you set aside that time. Start small. Maybe you’ll be able to increase that time later when you feel ready to take bigger steps. If not, that’s okay too! Stick to the baby steps if they are helping you make progress. If you have a tendency to avoid the problems in your love life, you may need the help of a professional to face what isn’t working and change your approach.
#3: Cheer yourself on.
Parents cheer on their babies when they take their first steps and for other small victories, but nobody really does it for us when we’re grown. But we need encouragement at every age. So why not cheer yourself on, and try to counteract that pesky tendency to be overly critical with yourself?
Your inner voice can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You don’t want to sabotage your motivation or prevent yourself from adopting new habits. How can you spice up your love life when you undermine any progress you make? Instead, be your biggest fan, and encourage yourself for any step in the right direction, no matter how small.
#4: Focus on the positives.
Dating is full of disappointment and rejection. Being your biggest fan isn’t as easy as it sounds, so try to stick with it and focus on what you’re grateful for in your life whether or not your love life is ideal. Will you make mistakes? Yes. But when you do, you want to notice any self-critical thoughts and soften them to something like, “I’ll work on it and do better next time.”
Be patient with yourself. Be sure to notice any progress you make and find ways to reward it. Do something nice for yourself from time to time, just to celebrate your journey, even if your progress is slower than you’d like.
#5: Make a commitment to yourself.
You want to commit to Mr. Right? First, commit to yourself! Commit to your new habits, never giving up on yourself, and the learning journey that will lead you to the relationship of your dreams.
Your next success steps:
If your love life isn’t working for you, it’s time for you to do something about it. How can you possibly change your dating life for the better by doing absolutely nothing?
What’s the easiest next step for you to take?
Read a book for ideas of what to work on next?
Work on your online dating profile?
Do you feel stuck in a dating rut? How do you plan on getting out of it? Let me know your story in the comments.
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