Do you train men to treat you poorly?

9
Jul

 Many women are frustrated by dating men who don’t treat them well. But aren’t we part of the problem, too?
When we let men treat us badly and don’t require anything better, we let our date get away with it and we lower the expectations for all men.

Have you ever considered whether you might be training men to treat you poorly? See if any of these scenarios sound familiar to you:

  • You are annoyed by last-minute dates, but you agree to them anyway.
  • When he calls you late at night to go over to his place, you do, even though you feel taken for granted.
  • You agree to “hang out,” even when you aren’t comfortable.
  • You wait for him to call you to firm up date plans.
  • You pay on dates, even though you want him to pay.
  • You drive to meet him when you want him to pick you up.
  • It’s hard for you to let a man help you.
  • You have sex without the commitment that you want.

Do these patterns sound familiar? If so, you are settling for less than you want from men. So what can you do about it? Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect. Many women feel more desired when the man is putting some thought and energy into winning them over. So there’s nothing wrong with holding out for better treatment. If he wants to go out with you, he’ll make a better suggestion. Keeping that in mind, try out some new dating habits:

  • If he calls for a last-minute date, let him know that you already have plans.
  • If he calls late at night asking you to go to his place, don’t answer the phone.
  • Don’t agree to “hang out” if you aren’t comfortable or aren’t sure what he’s asking.
  • Don’t wait for him to call you to firm up your plans.
  • Don’t offer to pay for dinner if you want him to pay.
  • If he suggests you drive to meet him, simply say that won’t work for you.
  • Let him open your door! Let him do nice things for you. Accept his help.
  • If you want a committed relationship, don’t have casual sex.

These new habits will help you figure out whether he’s into you or not. If you hold out for what you want and he’s into you, he’ll start treating you better. If he’s not into you, he’ll disappear. It may be painful, but at least you know where you stand with him. Aren’t you better off if without him if he doesn’t really care about you?

Maybe you’re thinking, “This isn’t as easy as she makes it sound!” It’s true that saying “no” can be very difficult, but it can make a huge difference in your ability to get what you want in any relationship, not just your relationships with men. That’s why I wrote so much about it in my new book, Be Your Own Brand of Sexy. My next blog post will be a quiz to help you figure out if you’re having trouble saying “no.” If you are, I’ll give you some suggestions on what to do about it.

You have to expect respect to get it. And if enough of us stopped settling for late night booty calls and half-hearted dates, we might re-train men to treat us all better!

Do you think you might be training men to treat you poorly? How? Have you tried any of these suggestions? How did they work for you? I’d love to hear from you. Please share your comments below and on Facebook and Twitter.

You can do this. Join the revolution. Be your own Brand of Sexy and get what you want.


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Comments

  • May 3, 2017

    Thank u…just thank you!

    • May 4, 2017

      Hi Tawnya,

      How nice to hear from you! You’re welcome.

      I really appreciate your thanks and look forward to hearing from you again.

      Warmly,

      Dr. Susan

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