What is the biggest factor that can attract or repel the right man?
Is it your looks? Or maybe it’s your personality.
The answer is – your mindset.
I talked about the reasons why your mindset can help you attract the right man in a previous article. You can find it here if you want to find out more.
But how on earth can you stay positive when all you seem to get are bad dates or dates that lead nowhere and lots of rejection?
Here are 7 ways to help you transform your mindset to become more positive, which, in turn, will improve your success with men:
Way #1 to Improve Your Mindset So You Can Attract the Right Man: Be Grateful
Many people keep a gratitude journal to get themselves into the habit of remembering the good in their lives and everything they are grateful for. Even if you don’t want to write in a journal every day or week, you could easily take a minute out of your day and come up with 3 things you’re grateful for. Don’t forget that being single has its advantages and that you have a lot to give to a relationship.
This exercise helps you to create some balance in your thinking so that you sort of train your mind to think of the positives instead of all the negatives. When you are more grateful for the life you have, it can get easier to think of dating as a way to meet new people and learn what kind of partner you want rather than just a challenging experience that constantly leads nowhere.
Way #2 to Improve Your Mindset So You Can Attract the Right Man: Take It Easy
Dating can be hard, so it’s important to pace yourself so you can enjoy the process and avoid getting burned out. Take your time talking to or meeting new people and move at a pace that makes you feel comfortable. Just because he wants to meet tomorrow, doesn’t mean you have to squeeze him into your already busy schedule.
Have realistic expectations about the dating process. It takes time to meet the right person and it takes time to get to know new men enough to figure out if they are right for you. Having patience with the process creates much less stress for you and helps you to make better decisions about the men and relationships you choose.
Way #3 to Improve Your Mindset So You Can Attract the Right Man: You Always Have a Choice
If you have any tendency to be a people-pleaser, you may be looking for his approval about whether you are attractive or smart, or fun enough rather than realizing you need to determine whether he is going to make a good partner for you.
If you are more comfortable with a phone call before setting up a meeting, you don’t have to agree to meet until he makes that call. If you prefer to meet in a place closer to where you live, you don’t have to agree to a date where you have to drive 30 minutes. Listen to and honor your concerns.
Way #4 to Improve Your Mindset So You Can Attract the Right Man: Your Voice Matters
When you’re a people-pleaser, it can be hard to say “no.” You might be afraid the man you are seeing right now will never ask you out again. It can be easy to forget that a man who would reject you because you aren’t ready to get more sexual or because you have a different opinion might not be a good match for you anyway.
The whole point of dating is to find the right person for you. If you aren’t true to yourself, or you hide how you really feel, how can he fall in love with the real you?
Way #5 to Improve Your Mindset So You Can Attract the Right Man: If He’s Not Hearing Your Voice, Move On
If he doesn’t care how you feel or is constantly criticizing your opinion, you may not be a very good match. Sometimes a couple has to agree to disagree, but he should at least acknowledges your feelings. Women are more satisfied in their relationships when the man at least attempts to understand how they feel, even if he isn’t able to completely pull it off.
Way #6 to Improve Your Mindset So You Can Attract the Right Man: Hang in There
Stay in the dating game. Even if it’s discouraging, you are much more likely to meet the right man if you are actively meeting new men than if you decide it’s hopeless and you’ll never meet anyone. If you need to take a break, go back to dating with a different approach.
Be open to the idea that you have some things to learn that may improve your chances of finding the right relationship. Everyone has something to learn about themselves in the dating process. One date with a disappointing outcome might teach you something that will make a future date go really well.
Way #7 to Improve Your Mindset So You Can Attract the Right Man: Rethink Your Negative Beliefs
You can find something good about most of your dates, even if they don’t turn out to be Mr. Right. They can teach you what kind of man you are looking for and can feel most comfortable with. Is he kind and thoughtful even if you aren’t very attracted to him? Does he seem more grown-up than the men you usually meet? If he rejects you, can you learn something from the experience?
One of the most important skills you can develop in dating is appreciating a good man. In fact, appreciating the right man will instantly attract him to you. Start now by practicing that with every man you meet so that you can get good at it.
Your Next Success Steps:
Which one of these tips do you want to use to change your mindset?