If you’ve ever been asked “Why are you still single?”, you know that it’s a question that can really get you down. Even if it is asked with the best of intentions, it can still feel more like an accusation than an innocent inquiry.
So, the next time you are faced with this question, instead of telling yourself that you’ve done something wrong if you aren’t in a relationship yet, remember these 3 things:
- Being single doesn’t make you flawed. There’s nothing wrong with you just because you are single. We all have imperfections, and we all have wonderful qualities. What are your best traits? Are you funny? Dependable? Remind yourself of what makes you so special.
- Your past is a learning opportunity. When you go down the road of “I messed up another good relationship,” “There aren’t any good single guys left,” or “Everyone has found love except for me,” things can feel hopeless. Instead, remember that every single date and relationship—good and bad—teaches you something. Maybe in your last relationship, you learned a lot about yourself. Other dates may have shown you what you want (or don’t want). All these experiences help you grow into the person you want to be so that you can attract the right guy for you. And each time you learn a little bit more about yourself and what you want, you get one step closer to finding love.
- Settling for the wrong guy can be worse than being single. Too often we think of being single as the worst fate, but the truth is that being in the wrong relationship can feel far lonelier. Remember that you are single because you are holding out for the right person or learning more about yourself so that you’ll be ready for him when you meet him. In the meantime, you can enjoy being single! Spend time with your friends, take a class, practice a new hobby, or do some personal reflection to better understand yourself if there’s something that still needs work.
It can also be helpful to be prepared for this tricky question, so that it doesn’t take you by surprise. Remember, you don’t have to give all the gory details of your love life, especially if it feels too personal or you don’t know the person who’s asking the question very well. In fact, you don’t have to answer at all if it feels like it’s none of their business. Still, some women may feel like they have to give some kind of reply. If you want to answer them, you can try out one of these responses from a blog post I wrote for the holidays, but the responses work year-round!
If you have a nagging sense that something really isn’t working for you in your love life, maybe it would help to think about why you haven’t found the right relationship yet, and what you can do about it. You may just not have met the right guy yet, or you may be making some dating mistakes that you can fix.
Would you like a free gift that can help you be more successful with men? It’s called The 7 Common Mistakes Women Make with Men—and How to Fix Them. It will help you learn how to turn those errors around so you can start getting what you want from men!
You can do this. Join the revolution. Be your own Brand of Sexy and get what you want.