If you’re attending a wedding as a single woman, you might already be feeling down or frustrated about your own love life. If you are wondering when it will be your turn to say “I do,” you probably aren’t looking forward to being grilled about why you didn’t bring a date to the event or why you are still single.
Although the person asking may have good intentions, the question might not feel like a compliment to you. They might actually mean something like, “You’re such a great person, who wouldn’t want to be with you?” but for many of us, “Why are you still single” sounds more like, “What are you doing wrong if you aren’t in a relationship?” Also, maybe you just don’t want to talk about your love life, and that’s OK.
So how can you respond without causing conflict, feeling bad about yourself, or feeling pressured into a conversation you don’t want to have?
- Plan ahead. It’s often harder to come up with a good answer on the spot. So, take some time before the event to decide how you want to respond if anyone asks you why you are still single. Practice how you’ll say it, too. If you go into the situation prepared, you’ll feel more confident and it will be easier for you to gracefully stick to your boundaries.
- Be your own Brand of Sexy. Choose a response that feels right to you and that fits your personality. If you like to joke around, you may feel the most comfortable making light of the question. If you don’t want to talk about your love life at all, that’s OK to say, too! Remember, just because someone asks you a question doesn’t mean you have to answer it, and you don’t have to apologize. Instead, politely let them know that you’d prefer not to discuss it. People often don’t know what your boundaries are unless you tell them.
- Change the subject. Whatever you choose to say, you can follow up your answer with a different topic of conversation (“I’d rather not talk about my love life. How’s business going?”).
Here are some examples of other responses that you could try. Some require a playful tone:
- I like being single. It gives me time to enjoy all my hobbies.
- I haven’t found the right guy yet.
- I’m learning to be my own Brand of Sexy, which means I don’t have to answer questions I’m not comfortable with.
- I’m not ready for commitment.
- I’m enjoying dating, but no one has impressed me enough to settle down yet.
- I was too smart to get married.
- Staying single gives my mother something to live for.
- I’d rather be single than be with the wrong guy.
- I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
- (Sigh) Ah, so many men, so little time!
In case you missed them, check out the last two blogs, “Single? How to Turn Around the Pre-Wedding Blues” and “Should I Bring a Date to a Wedding?”. Tune in this Thursday for “Should I Call Him After the Wedding?”.
If you want even more tips on dating and love, pre-order my brand new ebook What to Say to Men on a Date: Be Your Own Brand of Sexy!
How do you handle being asked why you are single at weddings? Do you have a favorite response? I’d love to hear from you. Please share your experiences in the comments below and on Facebook and Twitter.
You can do this. Join the revolution. Be your own Brand of Sexy and get what you want.