When you start to date and come across a divorced man, some alarm bells might go off. Women often worry about dating a man who’s divorced. After all, why did he separate from his wife? Will history repeat itself with you as well? How can you tell which divorced men are actually keepers, and which will cause trouble for your romantic life?
Well, it turns out you can tell the difference between the two. Keep reading to get a bonus tip at the end of this article about how to tell them apart.
Some women might want to avoid dating divorced men altogether because they’re not sure what to make of them or don’t feel comfortable asking some potentially uncomfortable questions. However, when you’re dating at a certain age, a large portion of the men you might be dating will likely be divorced, so why limit your options?
Because a divorced man doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed from the start. Many actually have very successful second or even third marriages. But, to protect yourself, you should watch out for these 7 red flags from divorced men:
Red Flags for Dating Divorced Men #1: He Says He’s “Separated.”
Separated and divorced mean two different things. If he’s divorced, he already put the chapter of his life behind him. If he’s separated, well, legally he is still married and is either expecting the divorce proceedings to begin or maybe there is also a chance to get back together with his wife. Make sure you clarify the man’s marital status before investing too much in this relationship!
Red Flags for Dating Divorced Men #2: He Wants Too Much Too Soon
Being excited to begin a new chapter is one thing, but if he’s pushing to involve you in his life way too fast, it’s usually a big red flag. Maybe he wants to introduce you to his friends or family after just a few dates as if you were an actual couple. Or he might suggest you date exclusively on the second date when you two didn’t even get a chance to truly get to know each other. If he’s so eager, he might be trying to replace his ex-wife at all costs, which could lead to a “crash and burn” rebound relationship.
Red Flags for Dating Divorced Men #3: He’s Jaded About Commitment
Divorce can leave different effects on different people. A bad divorce can leave a man with trouble trusting other people, including you. He may tell you he is done with commitment, and even that he’ll never get married again. Don’t assume he’ll change his mind later on, or that you’ll change him.
Red Flags for Dating Divorced Men #4: His Relationship with His Kids Is Complicated
Children make a complicated process even more complicated. If the man you are dating has a strange or complicated relationship with his kids, like being distant, or even in the middle of a nasty custody battle, it might be better to move along. These are signs that something is amiss. He may not be ready for dating or he may have relationship issues.
Red Flags for Dating Divorced Men #5: He’s Overly Involved with His Ex
A friendly divorce is something everyone hopes for, but if his ex-wife is still very involved in his life, things can get complicated fast. He might even want to get back together at one point. So where would you fit into all of this? At the very least, he is not ready to move on.
Red Flags for Dating Divorced Men #6: He Gets Angry and Defensive When You Ask Questions
Men can look at a failed marriage as a failure of their character or even manhood. Most will be a bit weary to answer questions about their divorce, but if the man you are dating avoids the subject at all costs, or gets angry at you for even asking, this is a huge red flag.
Why doesn’t he want to open up? Maybe he’s not comfortable on the first few dates to talk about it, but if you’ve been dating for a few months, this subject should be discussed. You have to wonder why he’s avoiding the subject, or not understanding why you need to know these things. If he can’t talk about this, what happens when you want to bring up other important stuff in your relationship? Will he avoid those too?
Red Flags for Dating Divorced Men #7: He’s Been Unfaithful.
“Once a cheater, always a cheater” – you’ve heard this before. It means that this behavior is rarely a one-time thing, but a repeat behavior. If he confesses he cheated on his wife, and that led to the divorce, don’t brush it off. He’ll bring up excuses, but nothing can excuse this. And if he did it before, he can do it again to you.
Divorce is seldom one person’s fault. It takes two to tango. If he’s blaming his wife for everything and doesn’t admit his own part, then he has not learned anything from this experience.
Divorced men who can admit their own faults have the maturity you should be looking for.
So if you’re out dating, don’t brush off divorced men altogether because they can be good partners. Just make sure you look out for these red flags to pick the right one for you.
Have you dated divorced men before? Tell us in the comments! We’d love to hear your story.