It’s no surprise that introducing social media into your budding relationship has the potential to backfire. There are good reasons why women who want a serious relationship often don’t introduce their new man to their friends until they’re sure the relationship has some real possibility. And social media is a lot like bringing him into a huge party with all your friends and his. It’s a lot of pressure on your new relationship.
We’re so used to the lack of privacy in our world today that we don’t see where a little mystery can be our friend. Many men feel like a trophy is more valuable if they have to work to earn it. When they can read everything about what you’re doing every day, you may seem less exciting. Often they don’t have to try very hard to get a ton of information about you on social media.
Without any mystery, you could enter the “friend zone”, squashing a burgeoning romance before it’s had a chance to grow into something worthwhile. It’s perfectly fine to go against cultural expectations to “let it all hang out” online. Just because everyone seems to be posting about dates, men, and all their daily activities doesn’t mean you have to. It can take courage to go against the trend.
That’s what being your own Brand of Sexy means. It’s figuring out what you want, what works for you and which strategies will get you the kind of relationship you want. It means finding your own voice. Taking things slow with a new man gives you the space to learn whether he’s right for you. It protects you from crash and burn relationships. It shows him that you aren’t desperate to get into a relationship and that he has to convince you that he’s a good bet. It’s like having a compass to help guide you in the dating jungle.
Here are 3 tips to help you if you want to accept his request to become “Facebook Official” or Instagram friends:
- Check out your privacy settings to see if you can keep him from seeing some information about you to maintain an air of mystery about yourself. Wouldn’t you rather he ask you out to find out who you are?
- If you do share your online profile, keep your posts short and sweet. Don’t post often. Don’t write about how upset you are about something that happened at work, with a friend or with dating. It’s simply TMI for a new man.
- Don’t give a lot of info in your profile. If he wants to get to know you, let him ask you out.
- Don’t study his Facebook profile. Your connection to each other might not feel secure yet. You might be nervous if he has photos tagged with other women. You might be tempted to mention what you read about him, making you appear overly interested in him.
- Don’t post about him or your relationship. Don’t write on his timeline or tag him and call attention to your new relationship.
Maybe you think these suggestions are silly or even drastic. We’re so used to everyone knowing our business that privacy and boundaries have become a rare commodity. But if you want to protect your relationship, it might work better for you to proceed in such an old fashioned way.
Read a free excerpt of my award-winning book Be Your Own Brand of Sexy: A New Sexual Revolution For Women to start figuring out what works best for you . You can reclaim your power in the dating world!
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