Sophia had always been a driven, ambitious woman who wanted to make her mark on the world. Sophia was proud of the career she built, working long hours over the past 20 years and climbing the corporate ladder. But, her personal life was lacking. Sophia had been so laser-focused on establishing herself professionally that dating took a back seat.
In the aftermath of her divorce, Sophia threw herself deeper into her career. Year after year, her friends and family would push her to start dating again, but she always brushed it off. Deep down, she feared getting hurt again.
Eventually Sophia started feeling pangs of regret and loneliness. Many of her friends were married and she wondered if she had missed her window of opportunity to meet someone. The prospect of spending the rest of her life alone terrified her.
Sophia decided to dip her toes back into the dating pool. She felt wildly out of practice, having not been on a first date in years. Simple things like making conversation on dates, reading body language, and flirting felt unnatural after avoiding the dating scene for so long. Sophia struggled to relax and just have fun – dating conversations often felt stiff and awkward. Potential relationships fizzled out before they could blossom.
Determined to overcome her rusty dating skills, Sophia started doing research and worked on herself. She slowly started to loosen up, and not view every date like a high-stakes job interview. She got better at reading social cues and body language and became more comfortable with flirting. She worked on being more vulnerable and not putting up emotional walls the way she had for all those years. She started to enjoy dating.
While Sophia initially felt regret about closing herself off for so many years, she’s now grateful she finally faced her fears when she did. Thanks to her dedication to emotional growth, she finally feels ready to find an amazing partner and experience deep intimacy again.
Sophia’s story of balancing career and dating life reminds us that getting back into dating requires patience, vulnerability and dedication to personal growth. Just like her, you’ll need to be intentional about overcoming fears and rebuilding your confidence.
These 10 practical tips will help you feel more vibrant and flirtatious on dates – your roadmap to going from rusty to unstoppable.
1- Address fear.
Before jumping into dating, take some time for introspection. Are you truly open and available for a relationship after years of avoidance? Work on letting go any fears about intimacy through journaling, therapy, coaching, or self-help books. Don’t be afraid to get the help you need.
2- Lean Into Discomfort.
Dating will feel uncomfortable and awkward at first after a long break. But don’t take that as a sign to retreat – those are growing pains that mean you’re doing the right thing by dating again. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and let yourself feel awkward. The more you face the discomfort head-on instead of avoiding it, the sooner it will fade.
3- Rekindle Your Vulnerability.
If you’ve been closed off for years, you’ll need to practice being vulnerable again. Try sharing more with friends, keeping a gratitude journal, or taking an improv class. Getting comfortable with emotional exposure will help you open up on dates.
4- Make Dating a Priority.
Despite your busy schedule, it’s important to make dating a priority if you want to find a romantic partner. Treat dating like a project by setting measurable goals such as updating your online profile, keeping up with emails from prospective matches, and going on dates regularly. Commit to a realistic number of dates per month and schedule them into your calendar like any other important commitment. Balancing career and dating life is possible.
5- Start Small.
Ease back into dating with low-pressure situations like meeting for drinks or coffee. This lets you practice flirting and small talk without the weight of a full dinner date. Build up your dating stamina gradually.
6- Maximize Your Time.
Coffee or lunch dates save time compared to lengthy dinner dates. You have just enough time to gauge chemistry. Dates that involve activities you enjoy let you have fun even if there’s no romantic spark.
7- Be Selective.
Don’t forget that you aren’t obligated to say yes to every date. Be selective about who you spend your limited free time with. Have clear boundaries, values, and deal-breakers established beforehand. Trust your instincts – if you get a weird vibe or lack of chemistry, cut your losses early. “It was so nice to meet you, but I’ve got to go.”
8- Consider Online Dating.
Online dating is an efficient way to start dating as a successful woman. To save time, don’t initiate conversations yourself. Instead, only respond to the men whose initial messages come across as respectful and considerate. That way, you’ll only need to review the profiles of men who have already demonstrated good communication skills and social awareness from the start.
If he doesn’t want to meet in person in the first few emails, don’t write back. If he’s not a scammer, he might be married.
9- Prioritize Your Safety.
When meeting someone from a dating app, meet in public first and provide a friend with details about who you’re meeting and where. Drive yourself on first dates so you can leave whenever you want.
10- Be Patient with Yourself
You can’t expect to immediately gain dating skills. Cut yourself some slack and celebrate small wins. Regaining your confidence and spark takes time after being out of the dating world for so long. Stick with it.
Bottom Line
You are a powerhouse who has shattered glass ceilings and achieved remarkable career heights through sheer grit and perseverance. Yet when it comes to your romantic life, you’ve let fears around intimacy or vulnerability hold you back far too long.
It’s time to bring that same unwavering determination into your dating life. Don’t sell yourself short by shying away from the very courage that made you a trailblazer in your field.
You are a woman who gets things done, no matter the obstacles. You can apply that relentless drive to prioritize your romantic happiness alongside your career ambitions. The profound rewards of a loving relationship are well worth facing your fears. Have faith in your ability to break through this final hurdle.
Reach out to me to discover the ultimate shortcut to the love you deserve. I’d love to hear from you at susanedelman@drsusanedelman.com.
