How To Jump-Start Your Unhappy Love Life: 5 Basic Steps


When you reflect on your love life from last year, how did it turn out?  A few bumps along the road to happiness? Or was it one riddled with potholes and breakdowns? If it was the latter, then perhaps this is the year when you try a new route. If decisions you’ve made in the past haven’t led you to the relationships of which you’ve always dreamed, maybe it’s time for a major change.

Change isn’t always easy. Fortunately, you can have a map to guide you through the tumultuous world of dating. There are five steps that enable and empower women to feel strong, confident, and sexy, steps that are key to being your own Brand of Sexy. This isn’t about adopting a prescribed look or attitude. Being your own Brand of Sexy is about learning who you are and what you want, and then gaining the confidence to get it. It’s about finally having the relationship and man you’ve always wanted, and on your own terms.

It’s time to make a change in 2017. Here’s how:

Five Guidelines to Being Your Own Brand of Sexy

  1. You Always Have A Choice.
  2. Media and peer pressure solutions might not be right for you.
  3. Slow can be sexy.
  4. Your voice matters.
  5. If a guy isn’t respecting your voice, move on.

Each week we’ll discuss one of these five guidelines. The first guideline, you always have a choice, is the most important, and oftentimes the hardest for many women. We’re raised to be people-pleasers more than not, and it’s often ingrained in us to “go with the flow”. Always having a choice means that you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. Even if he plans the date or makes suggestions about what you two do together, remember: You always have veto power.

If he invites you out to a noisy, crowded bar when you’d prefer coffee at the park, it’s important to learn that you’re entitled to choose what you do, when you do it, and how soon.  How can you have fun dating if you’re continually put in uncomfortable situations that don’t reflect what you’d prefer?

Bill asks Rachel if she’d like to come up to his apartment after their dinner-date, which is only their second date. Rachel is very attracted to Bill and would really like to be in a relationship. In the past, she’s gotten intimate with her dates quickly and it’s left her feeling wrong-footed and at times, heartbroken, when it was clear that sex was what her dates had been after, not a relationship with her. She’s learning that she’s not built for casual sex. She really likes Bill but wants to know if he’s interested in getting to know her, or just looking for a “quickie”.

She’s nervous, worried this could end what they have going, but she realizes she needs to know if Bill is interested in her or just in having sex. She doesn’t want to do something that isn’t true to herself. She doesn’t want to sound like a prude, though. It isn’t that she doesn’t like sex, it’s that she’s not ready for that tonight. She’d read some advice about knowing that you have a choice that had made sense. She realized that she was feeling like she would be “giving in” to having sex since it wasn’t her first choice. If she was having sex to keep him, was that really a relationship she needed to keep? If he was really into her, he’d stick around even if she passed on sex. 

Looking at Bill’s handsome face, she decides she’d rather know if it wasn’t going to work out before putting herself out there in such an intimate way.

“You know,” she says, “I have an early morning, so I better head out. I had a great time tonight!”

Bill says he’ll call her.

Rachel listened to her inner “emotional GPS”. It was the right choice for her in this situation.

Do you struggle with knowing what your options are in a similar situation? That you have a choice? Take this quiz to find out if you’ve unknowingly been sabotaging your chances at love and happiness.

This can be the year when you change your love life to one of which you’ve always dreamed. Read stories from other women learning to recognize patterns that keep them from achieving their goals. Download a FREE excerpt of my multi-award winning book here. You’ll learn what works best for you so that you can have your expectations met by the men you date. Start getting what you want from relationships. Be Your Own Brand of Sexy!

Join the revolution of women taking control of their love lives here and on Facebook. You can do this! Challenge yourself to change how you’ll navigate the path to your future. Find your way to the man and relationship you’ve always wanted in 2017!

Start today! Make a commitment to yourself to make 2017 different. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself. Download my most popular blog posts of 2016 to help you find your path to love this year!

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