Thankfulness: How Gratitude Can Get You the Relationship You Want


As we approach this holiday season, we’re reminded of how important it is to give thanks. It’s an important emotion, thankfulness, one that cements communities and families. It’s also crucial for your future romantic relationships. Everyone loves to be thanked, and a guy whose efforts get acknowledged by you will feel like a superhero as well as being more likely to continue doing the things you liked.

Women want to be appreciated by their partner, and in this respect, men are no different! They love to know that you recognize what they are doing to satisfy you and that it’s appreciated by you. If you’re in a new relationship, your guy wants to know that you’re happy to be with him, that you’re grateful he’s in your life, just as much as you want him to feel that way about you. Telling your new guy that you appreciate him doing something thoughtful gives him a clear sign that you like what he’s doing.

Expressions of gratitude signal to your guy that his actions are desired by you. In other words, if you tell him that you like what he’s doing, there is a good chance that he’ll continue doing those things. There’s nothing wrong with rewarding the behavior you want with charm and a few compliments, after all. If you’re having a good time, he’s more likely to feel like he can make you happy. This is important if you’d like to go on another date.

Thankfulness is a skill, though, one you may have to work at. To some of us, it comes naturally. To others, maybe you’ve been hurt or disappointed by previous relationships, and as a result, perhaps gratitude doesn’t come easy. You might be afraid of getting hurt. Or maybe you’ve gone overboard with compliments in the past, to a point where maybe it didn’t feel genuine to your date or even to you. But even setbacks offer lessons for ourselves. You learn more about what makes you you, what you want out of a relationship and out of your future partner. That helps you better determine what your Brand of Sexy is, knowing what works and what you want. It helps give you confidence to get the relationship you want on your terms.

Striking a balance with appreciative comments is important. It may be great that at the start of your first date he pulls out your chair, but telling him, “You’re the man of my dreams!” could come off as being too intense when a “Why, thank you!” would be more appropriate. You don’t know him well enough to say he’s The One, but that’s how he might interpret it, which could easily scare him off. You simply haven’t had enough time to get to know each other’s senses of humor or earnestness yet.

In my books Be Your Own Brand of Sexy & What To Say To Men On A Date, I’ll show you how to get that right balance of showing your appreciation for your date through several examples that can fit almost any occasion. You don’t want to go overboard with the compliments, but being clear with what you appreciated about what he’s done is important, too. Examples like:

“You’re so fun to talk to.”

“I love the restaurant you chose.”

“Your mother raised such a gentleman!”

“That’s so nice, thank you.” (If he opens the door for you.)

You not only express your appreciation, but you’re setting the stage for him to show you what else he can do to make you happy. You’re letting him know that you like that and that you’re open to more of it. This lets him know you trust him with yourself. That’s a huge step towards having a healthy, long-lasting relationship, the one you’ve always dreamed of having.

Finding love is about developing these important communication and dating skills. It’s about learning who you are and what you want out of relationships. That’s what your Brand of Sexy is.

Join the community of women here, on Facebook and Twitter. That happy, loving relationship you’ve dreamed of is possible! You can do this!

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