How Some Women Get the Relationship They Want (And You Can Too!)


Do you ever wonder how some women get the relationship they want? What are they doing that makes such a difference when others stay single or deal with frequent breakups?

It’s simple: they make good dating decisions.

A lot of women tend to blame their looks or confidence for their single status, but that’s the wrong approach. I’ve written about this issue frequently, and explained that when you blame your looks or level of confidence, what you are really doing is not seeing the forest for the trees. Sure, keeping yourself up is important, but there are other, more important factors to consider that don’t have that much to do with “beauty.”

Of course, if you are more confident, you might make better decisions. If you love yourself, you might be more likely to expect respect from others, but, if not, you can still find love and sustain a good relationship.

Women who get and keep the relationship they want are not necessarily super beautiful or confident. They have their insecurities like the rest of us.

To get the relationship you want, you need to spend time addressing the areas where you really need help. Women get the relationship they want when they make good dating decisions in the following areas:

How to Get the Relationship Tip #1: They Interact Well with Men

Ideally, you are comfortable around men and like them. If you are scared of them or nervous for other reasons, it might interfere with your ability to enjoy their company and have fun with them. It can be very hard to flirt with a man if you are very nervous around them.

Is it comfortable for you to say “no” to a man? Being selective and pacing the relationship makes a big difference to your success with men, so if you can’t say “no,” it can adversely affect the chemistry between the two of you as well as making it harder to establish healthy boundaries.

How to Get the Relationship Tip #2: They Are Kind to Themselves

As I mentioned earlier, it is not helpful for you to obsess about anything you perceive to be your shortcomings, such as your beauty or confidence. There may be other areas where you are too critical of yourself too. Some women have also told me they don’t think that they are smart or successful enough to find a man.

When you are self-critical like this, you are assuming there is no man out there for you, which is not true. You are looking for a man who accepts you the way you are. When you work to accept yourself, it becomes easier to believe you can find a man who will accept you. If you can’t accept yourself right now, start small. For example, you can avoid being so mean to yourself all the time and so self-critical.

How to Get the Relationship Tip #3: They Build the Relationship They Want

Happily married women often tell me that their husband met few (or even none) of the criteria they had mapped out, but they were won over by his kindness or sense of humor. Make sure you are open to meeting good men, whether or not they have a full head of hair, 6 pack abs, or the right career or income. When you spend a lifetime with someone, a 6 pack is not as critical as his character.

The more good men you meet, the more you get used to being treated well by a man. Start to appreciate how well he treats you. Learn the right ways to encourage him to continue trying to make you happy. When you get used to men wanting to please you, that will become much more desirable than any substandard treatment you may be used to settling for.

Good Communication Is Key

All relationships work better when there is good communication and understanding of the other person’s point of view. Many women make the mistake of trying to compromise with a man too soon. They want to make their relationship work before they know if the relationship is going anywhere. Above all, you want to take your time, protect your heart, and pace the relationship.

Your Next Success Steps

You can do this! Don’t keep telling yourself that other women have a secret advantage over you. What area do you need to work on? Being kinder to yourself or appreciating good men? Leave us a comment and let us know.

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