Do you find yourself constantly checking your phone for an invite to a follow-up date that never seems to come?
A lot of women wonder why a man doesn’t ask them out for a second date. Often the woman blames something about her appearance for the problem. This is unsurprising, given that 90% of women aren’t satisfied with their appearance thanks to the cultural pressure on women to look impossibly ‘beautiful’. But the way you look is NOT the issue. After all, he knew what you looked like before he asked you out the first time.
So why hasn’t he called for round two?
Maybe he is still in love with his ex, or maybe there was simply a lack of chemistry between the two of you. Sometimes, there are things that just don’t work on a date that are not in your power to change.
But at other times, things are under your control. If you thought everything went well and you had a nice connection but he still isn’t calling, it is often something else. You might want to consider that the problem lies with how you interacted with him.
So, forget about your appearance and any of your other insecurities to consider how you interacted with him on that first date. Don’t be hard on yourself if you think you made a ‘mistake’ – dating is a learning experience. The important thing is that you learn something from this date that didn’t go so well to help the next one go better.
What are the three main reasons men don’t ask women out on second dates?
1- You grilled him.
Did you ask him too many personal questions about painful subjects? Questions like “Why didn’t your last relationship work out?” or “Are you looking for marriage?” are a little intense. Even if you’re just trying to avoid a broken heart by finding out as much as you can right away, it can make you seem desperate or pushy. You don’t want him to feel like he’s interviewing for a job. You’ll both enjoy the date more if you’re having fun. You really don’t need all those answers on the first date anyway – you’ll find out soon enough if you’re paying attention.
2- You didn’t enjoy his company.
If you’re sour on dating, those feelings may have leaked into your date. Maybe you’re a little suspicious of men, or you’re not feeling very confident. Perhaps you are afraid of getting rejected. If you’re tied up in these issues, it may have been hard for you to get out of your head and fully connect with the guy you went out with. The more aware you become of these feelings, the more you can leave them at home and enjoy the chance to get to know a new person, whether or not it leads to anything more.
3- You weren’t being YOU.
Many women are people-pleasers who try to make their date happy, leaving their personality and opinions at home in the process. But how can a man get to know you or ever fall in love with you if he doesn’t know who you really are? I’m not suggesting that you want to tell him everything about you on the first date. You’ll probably want to get to know him over time. But if you aren’t willing to express a unique opinion because he might not like it, you may be suppressing yourself and preventing anyone from getting to know the real you.
Don’t worry. You can turn this around. You can begin to enjoy dating more and get more second dates. You can find out how to be your own Brand of Sexy and transform your love life forever, starting today!
Want to find out more about ways that you can improve your chances of getting another date? I made a whole video telling you about the 5 ways you can be more attractive to men that have nothing to do with your appearance. It’s part of my FREE 3-part video training series that covers a ton of dating tips to help you finally get the relationship you want.
And remember, you’re not the only one struggling with love and relationships – I encourage you to share your thoughts and feelings with the BYOBOS community! I would also love to read your comments on the first video of my new series today – How to Be Attractive to Men, No Matter How You Look.
You can start changing your love life now.