Shelly felt like she was getting nowhere with dating. Either she wasn’t interested in the men she was dating, or they weren’t into her. She felt like she was never going to find that man who was the right fit, that needle in the haystack. It was so discouraging! She didn’t understand why it wasn’t working for her, but she knew something was wrong because her friends seemed to have more success with dating.
What is Shelly’s problem?
Shelly is having trouble being herself with men.
How can a man feel a real connection with you if he doesn’t have a genuine feeling for who you are?
When you’re a “people-pleaser,” this can be a problem. Unfortunately, many women are raised to be good girls and put others’ needs first. If you feel the need to hide potential disagreements, then you’re likely not letting your true opinion or voice be heard. Having some power might not come naturally to you. And if it feels uncomfortable, it’s easy to miss the many benefits that power can bring to your love life.
Power is often an emotionally charged word, and many women do not feel very comfortable with it. After all, empowering yourself can cause conflict with someone, and that can be scary for many of us. But here’s the thing: conflict isn’t always bad. Not shying away from conflict can cause a man to be a lot more interested in you.
If it’s done right. It’s not about picking a fight with him.
Hold on. Can conflict really be appealing to a man?
Think about it. How can a man fall for you if he doesn’t know who you are? He may sense that you might be hiding something from him or yourself, and that’s why you avoid discussing certain things. There’s nothing wrong with being a little mysterious, but it’s in your best interest to let him have a feel for who you are.
Let’s explore the 5 ways that empowering yourself can improve your love life:
1- Flirting Gets Easier and More Fun.
Ask yourself this: how can you be truly playful or tease a man if you are worried about him getting upset with you? It can be exhausting to always have to edit your words or actions because you’re constantly wondering if they will end up annoying him in any way.
And these edits don’t help at all. They just make the date seem a lot blander than it could be if you let your personality out to play.
The secret to having chemistry with a man is some level of uncertainty about where things are going. When he is 100% sure you’re crazy about him, it takes the mystery out of the process and leaves nothing else for him to discover. You take away his challenge. He doesn’t have to worry about the possibility of not being able to win you over since you already appear to be swept off your feet.
2- You’re More Genuine and Authentic.
When you’re empowered, you can truly be yourself and not tiptoe around anyone’s opinion. You can have the power to disagree with him and let it be known whether he likes it or not.
Of course, this doesn’t mean starting fights left and right, as a level of diplomacy is still beneficial. I’m not even suggesting constantly bringing up very sensitive or controversial topics when you’re together. But you don’t have to avoid speaking your mind to share your opinion or contradict your date. You’ll never agree about everything.
3- Saying “No” Gets Easier.
Do you have a hard time saying “no”? It can be good to say “no” to last-minute dates, pressure to have sex, changes of plans, or anything else that involves a man. When you’re afraid of losing a man by ruffling his feathers, you accept suboptimal treatment instead of saying a simple “no”.
By doing this, you can train men to treat you badly and keep the men who won’t make the best partner in your life needlessly. Difficult men will usually weed themselves out of your love life when you stand up to these kinds of behaviors in effective ways. And then, you are left with the men who will make good partners who really like you. Saying “no” is a good screening technique and improves your relationships and love life.
4- You Become More Confident.
Although confidence is built over time, becoming more empowered helps you to appear more confident to the men you date until you start feeling more confident. Over time, the process of becoming more powerful can help you to appreciate your natural abilities and see the progress you are making. You will be less likely to look needy or desperate, which will improve your success with dating.
5- You Improve Your Communications Skills.
By becoming more at ease with conflict, you will be better at seeing and addressing all the problems in any of your relationships. You will not be scared to communicate how you feel, and this will improve your chances of fixing some of the issues that are troubling you.
Moreover, you will be more likely to address these issues in the beginning, and not let them fester until they get out of hand. This will usually lead to a better outcome than just keeping all the things that are bugging you to yourself.
Bottom Line:
You don’t need to feel powerless when it comes to your love life. Becoming more empowered will serve you very well in your dating life, and help you get closer to the man who will truly value your opinion. And after all, that’s the type of man you can build a life with.
If you want to start your self-empowering journey, you can begin today by getting this book, Be Your Own Brand of Sexy. When you buy it, you can get a FREE bonus video from me on how to attract and keep a good man. All you need is proof of purchase.
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