If you are like most modern single women, many of your friends and even your favorite advice columns have tried to give you online dating advice – most often not to get hung up on how your profile picture looks or writing the “about me” section and to just start.
Getting over the initial hurdle of “just starting” to use online dating sites, though, does not come naturally for everyone. Especially for those of us who are more accustomed to face-to-face communication, e-dating can take some time to wrap your head around. Luckily, I’ve got some online dating advice for you.
If you would like to reasonably take your time choosing which online dating site you’d like to try or what you would like to put on your profile, that’s okay. But some of us use a lack of experience on the internet or discomfort with dating profiles as an excuse to avoid online dating. In these cases, you may actually be avoiding online dating sites because you are afraid of something on a deeper level, like being rejected or getting hurt.
Facing your underlying fears could change your opinion about e-dating. With a new perspective, you may find that you would like to explore online dating for a variety of reasons. Last week, we talked about how important it is to get dating practice and how you can start getting it quickly when you try online dating. The faster you try out new ideas about dating, the quicker you will be able to see what works best for you and reach your goals.
So what is holding you back from online dating?
Figure Out What’s Really Stopping You from Trying Online Dating Sites
There are a few areas that typically hold women back from starting to date online. Many women worry about trying to put together a dating profile, especially in regards to profile pictures. They’re quite concerned about how they look and therefore uncomfortable with the idea of choosing any images of themselves. Sometimes women feel like they should delay going on online dating sites until they lose ten pounds, get their teeth whitened or complete some other small physical change.
In reality, what many women are actually worried about is rejection in one form or another. After all, why do you have to lose weight to have a date? We all know that people are dating who are all different sizes and ages.
Online dating, like old-school introduced-by-a-friend dating, is not a beauty contest. Yes, you do need to put a picture or two of yourself on your profile. No, not everyone is going to be attracted to you – like in everyday life. But maybe it will help you to remember that most people using online dating sites worry about the same things. They just figure they’d rather do all they can to meet someone rather than let their worries get in their way.
That being said, there is one quick way of getting rejected – posting pictures on your profile that are of you at a significantly lower weight or you much younger than the you of today. No one likes to feel tricked or worse, lied to. They may even think that you aren’t a very honest person and worry that you might lie about more important things as well. It just doesn’t work to assume he’ll like you once he gets to know you. Remember the old saying: You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Besides, you want them to know what you actually look like. You want to find a man who is attracted to you, even with those extra ten pounds or a few wrinkles! The more men who see your real picture and write you, the more you’ll see how little those ten pounds really mean and how sexy you are already.
Take Advantage of All the Benefits of Online Dating
You can get online dating advice to help you write your dating profile and navigate your e-dating interactions pretty easily, so let’s be honest: your profile isn’t the big issue. Your problem with online dating sites most likely has something to do with anxiety about whether or not it will work or a fear of getting hurt.
Of course, it’s true that online dating might not work for you and could even get you hurt. But it’s also very possible that you will learn so much from the experience that you will be ready to take your love life to a whole new level, online or offline. It can be the beginning of a transformation for you, where you develop your instincts and intuition to the point that you are really good at figuring out what you want and what you don’t want. You can begin to make better decisions about who to date and how to date so that you are less likely to get hurt and much more likely to get top treatment from men. You might even meet Mr. Right!
Next week, we’ll talk about how to screen guys you meet online so that you only deal with those who will give you top treatment. I’ll show you how to weed out scammers and the guys who aren’t that into you. I’ll even share online dating advice for navigating some of the confusing aspects of online dating sites so that you don’t have to waste your time figuring it out!
Thank you for your recent comments about your experiences online dating. Some of you have tried it before and were disappointed with the results. But remember – online dating is like a dating practice laboratory where you can learn how you may be contributing to your dating problems. You can learn how to improve your dating life while testing the waters!
Please continue to contact me with any questions or comments you have about online dating. They are helpful for everyone in the Be Your Own Brand of Sexy community. I’ll answer them personally in the comments section or in an upcoming video!