Feeling down about being single on Valentine’s Day? Wondering when it’ll be your turn to celebrate? Before you grab that pint of ice cream, consider taking better care of yourself this Valentine’s Day. You can use Valentine’s Day to show some love to the most important people in your life – starting with yourself.
Don’t just drown your sorrows. This is the perfect time to reflect on what isn’t working in your love life. Yes, it might be painful to do that. But how can you improve your romantic life if you avoid facing the problems that exist?
If your heart’s been bruised, you might not think that you have the power to change. Believe it or not, those disappointing experiences could teach you a great deal. In fact, if you’ve experienced enough trial and error in love, you might be able to spot patterns. That could help you to figure out if you’re repeating certain mistakes. Don’t worry if you haven’t learned from those mistakes yet. You can start that process right now.
One of the best ways to show yourself love on Valentine’s Day is to look closely at your life. Here are some of the most common problems women face with finding a happy, healthy love relationship. Do any of these sound at all familiar? If you want results, be brutally honest with yourself.
1. You’re concerned you’re over 40.
“Are all the good ones taken? Do I have to compromise to find someone at my age with my wrinkles and sagging? Can I compete with all those younger women?
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2. Always putting his feelings ahead of yours
“I don’t like how he’s treating me lately, but I need to give him some space because he’s really stressed at work.” Do you make excuses for men and cut them so much slack that your needs aren’t met?
Women can overlook problems in their relationship when they minimize their feelings. Can you say “yes” to what you want and “no” to what you don’t want? Take my FREE quiz to find out. Grab it here.
3. Attraction to unavailable men
“The only guys who aren’t commitment-phobic are really boring.” If you want monogamy, but go out with men who won’t commit, there is a problem.
You may not be aware of it, but when you settle for men who can’t commit, you might actually fear commitment yourself. A man who can commit might feel scary for you, while the guy who can’t is safe.
4. Going for superficial attributes rather than a real connection
“Who cares if our conversations aren’t great, He’s really hot and he’s successful too!”
When you’re not looking for a genuine relationship, they usually don’t last, leaving you alone — again.
5. Staying in bad relationships to avoid being alone
“He’s sarcastic to me, but at least I’m not spending Saturday nights by myself.”
Your fear of being alone is causing you to settle for less.
When you settle, you aren’t as satisfied with the quality of your relationship. Again, this may limit the longevity of your relationship. Although you don’t want to be alone, you may end up that way again.
6. Ignoring your gut feelings
“I’m not ready to sleep with him, but if I say ‘no,’ he’ll just sleep with someone else and, besides, what’s the big deal.”
Your feelings can be your GPS on the dating journey. When you tune them out, you can easily get off track. Love yourself by listening to yourself.
7. You don’t date
You won’t meet anyone sitting in your living room watching TV. Do you just need time to recuperate from a breakup? Or are you avoiding the lessons you can learn from dating?
Yes, dating isn’t always pretty. It’s filled with bad dates, rejection, and disappointment. But you have to do it if you want a relationship.
8. You have unrealistic standards
This online dating study found that most women and men who date online prefer partners they deem 25% more attractive than themselves.
It’s okay to try and aim for a more desirable partner to find out where you stand in terms of desirability. But if you want to settle down, you might want to consider if your standards are too high.
9. You make excuses for why you’re single
“Men don’t find me attractive.”
“If I lived somewhere else, I’d be married.”
“I have bad luck with guys.”
“Men can’t commit.”
Women often make these excuses when they’re a little defensive about being single. There is no need to be defensive. It’s OK to be single. If you’re not happy about it, show yourself love by exploring the real reasons why.
10 You don’t learn from your mistakes or deal with your issues
Sometimes we have to make the same mistakes over and over again to realize that what we’re doing isn’t giving us the desired results. It isn’t easy for us to face our mistakes. Nobody really enjoys that process.
Bottom line Show Yourself Some Love
When we get sick and tired of the same old same old, that often motivates us to face some pain. You can love yourself on Valentine’s Day by facing the mistakes you made. Making mistakes is the human condition. Join the rest of us in the land of imperfection.
Today can be a turning point for you. Love yourself on Valentine’s Day by using your angst about being single to move you to make the changes you need to be ready for the relationship of your dreams.
Do nothing and everything will stay the same. Grasp the opportunity to do something today.
Do you have the courage to take the next step? What are you going to start to do differently? Can you show love to yourself by making that commitment today?