People often think that falling in love is a matter of the heart and rarely realize what a major decision it truly is. They rush into love without taking the time to get to know the man. More often than not, this approach does not work out.
But it’s not completely your fault. It’s a narrative we are being fed on a daily basis almost.
Couples quickly go to bed in movies and other media, fall in love and live happily ever after. Why doesn’t it go as smoothly for you? The answer is: it takes time to get to know someone and when you rush the process, it often spells heartache.
Here are the 3 top reasons why you need to be super careful about who you fall in love with:
Be Careful about Love Reason #1: Heartbreak Is Bad for Your Body
When researchers looked at the brains of people who are heartbroken in an fMRI scanner, they found that their brains looked like those of people who experienced severe pain like a burn or electric shock. Our bodies are built for attachment and breakups cause stress responses as well as trouble sleeping. Divorcees are significantly more likely to die earlier than their married counterparts.
“Broken heart syndrome” is a real thing, and 90% of the cases are in women aged 58-75. There are many causes, but one of them is an unexpected loss like getting dumped or finding out someone has been cheating. For men, research shows an increased level of inflammatory markers in men with many breakups or years living alone.
That’s not to say staying in a relationship no matter what is the answer. Marriage is not as good for your health if yours is filled with conflict. Unhappy marriages are also associated with health problems.
So, yes, marriage is better for your health, but only if it’s with the right partner.
Be Careful about Love Reason #2: It Can Be an Emotional Roller Coaster
When you fall for someone who is not your ideal partner, there can be a lot of ups and downs. Even if you don’t break up, the stress of chronic conflict can take its toll. How can you relax and get your work done when you are always arguing or tension is in the air?
There are also a lot of painful emotions with a troubled relationship. You can feel hurt, angry, rejected, regret, embarrassment, sadness, and grief. Processing loss can be difficult and takes time.
Be Careful about Love Reason #3: You Don’t Need Chaos in Your Life
Bad breakups and divorces can cause financial havoc. The average divorce is expensive with a report from Business Insider saying it has a $15,000 price tag and maybe even higher. Divorce can also mean that you may have to move or lose your home.
You may no longer be able to be close to some of your family or friends. Moreover, if you have children together, you are tied to him no matter how much he hurt you as peaceful co-parenting is ideal for the good development of the kids. But, that’s in the lucky cases as divorce can often mean custody battles, alimony, and tense child-rearing.
Discover what works for you in relationships. Take your time and learn to make good decisions about love.
Whether you’re in a troubled relationship or you are unhappily broken up, get the help you need to improve your situation.