As a relationship and dating expert, one of the most common questions a lot of women ask me is: “How do I meet the man of my dreams?”
The answer to this burning question can be different for each woman who asks it, which I know is something rather disappointing to learn. Finding the right man is a journey specific to you, and you alone. Sure, you may find some similarities between your story and someone else’s, but when you really get down to it, the journey itself is unique. So instead of focusing on a fictional template to find Mr. Right, I propose to focus on the journey through working skills I believe most women need to find the man of their dreams.
The 5 Essential Skills for Finding Love
The stage where you find yourself in your journey right now will also determine how you can best approach meeting Mr. Right.
Try to be honest with yourself about any problems you might have or the area you are struggling in, such as being completely open to a new relationship. It’s the first step towards addressing the problem and beginning the healing process.
Look for these essential skills in yourself. See if they’re present, or if they need any work or extra effort.
Patience is a virtue not everyone possesses. Waiting can be hard when you feel like you’re ready for a committed relationship, but nevertheless, you have to be patient. Many women will jump into just any opportunity that presents itself, even ignoring major deal-breakers just because they are afraid of ending up alone.
But that will just take your journey on a detour away from Mr. Right. And do you want to be tied to Mr. Wrong when the perfect guy actually turns up?
Think about it this way: maybe your one and only is tied up right now in a dead-end relationship that just isn’t over yet. When he is free, maybe he’ll be on the market only for a few months before he’s committed again. Men who are really looking for the real deal don’t last long on dating sites. Or, maybe he just lost his job and doesn’t have the confidence right now to go out and date. He needs some time for himself.
And you need the patience to actually find him.
Knowing if you’re ready can be tricky. Sometimes, you can feel like you’ve been ready for a long time, yet still haven’t crossed paths with him. Take a close look at your past problems, and be objective.
Do you know what qualities you look for in a man? Can you recognize which are the good guys who want a commitment, and which aren’t? Do you need some outside help figuring this stuff out and creating a dating strategy?
It’s a lot harder to find the man of your dreams if you’re not actually ready for him, meaning you haven’t worked on your issues when it comes to dating.
Some women can have an almost cartoony expectation of who their ideal man is. Is that you? Because this is simply unattainable.
You need to make sure that what you want from a man is actually possible in the real world, with real mean. If you want a guy with tons of money, movie star good looks… is that guy in your league? Do you even have the opportunities to encounter a guy like that in your day to day life?
Many people want to date someone who’s better looking than they are – we just gravitate easily to these people. But when it comes to dating, this strategy may end up setting you up for guys who won’t commit to you because focusing on how hot he is, and how much chemistry you two have can make you neglect the important stuff. Like, is that a man you can love for the rest of your life?
You can find a guy who seems right for you, but somehow the relationship just isn’t clicking. He may check every item on your list, but something just feels off in your dynamic.
But have you decided, rather too soon, that he’s the one and are now just doing everything you can to make it work? Maybe you two aren’t a match, at least not a good one for the long-term. Make sure he is a quality man who can genuinely make a commitment to you. Make sure he shares your values. Make sure your priorities are actually there.
And finally, we have honesty. It’s critical to be honest with yourself about which of these skills still need some work, and which may even be obstacles in the face of finding happiness.
This may just be the most important skill on the list. If you’re not willing to face the music and work on the things getting in your way, your journey to Mr. Right will be a bumpy one, at best. You’ll be sabotaging your progress without even realizing it.
And I know, it’s not easy to be objective with yourself. But if you’re not sure you can do it on your own, ask a friend or family member to help you, or even talk to a therapist.
Ready to meet the man of your dreams? What do you think may be standing in your way?