How Time Can Help Your Love Life

30
Aug

I recently went to a Rolling Stones concert that was absolutely incredible. Those sage British philosophers played one of their classic songs from the 60s that can provide you with some timeless advice about your love life. It’s called “Time Is on My Side.” Do you ever feel like time in relationships is not on your side? Or wonder how time is an essential component of finding the right love relationship for you? You’re not alone.

In this article, I’ll share how time can help your love life and why sometimes, timing is everything. Whether you’re in a hurry to meet Mr. Right or to seal the deal with a man you’re very serious about, there are several excellent reasons for why you don’t want to forget to take your time.

Why is the time you take for getting into a love relationship important?


It’s easy to rush. Some of the most common reasons why women run out of patience for waiting on the right love relationships and dating is that they feel they’ve been single long enough and they don’t want to wait anymore. Or, they find someone they think is incredibly attractive, so why wait? It’s tough to slow down when you’re wild about someone. What may seem too slow to you, may look like you’re rushing to an outsider when you find someone you’re excited about, and it can be challenging to know how to pace the relationship.

Remember that time is your friend, even when you’re impatient, your clock is ticking, you’re getting pressure from family or friends, or you feel that you’ve just been waiting too long for the right person. When you feel stuck in limbo in your love life, you probably want something or someone to come along to change everything for you completely. That’s understandable. But be careful. Your impatience can backfire on you. Hurrying the process carries a lot of risks.

When you don’t take the time to find out what kind of man he is, you could end up spending months or years being in love with a guy who cheats or is a narcissist. Indeed, a good man could also be prone to rushing a relationship. But it’s practically a rule of thumb for narcissists.

Even if he’s basically a good man, when you’re in a hurry, you might inadvertently change the dynamics of your relationship so that it doesn’t turn out the way you hoped.

What could that look like? Well, he might begin to feel that you want the relationship more than he does. Rushing the relationship could cause him to start taking you for granted. When you rush, you run the risk of inadvertently pressuring him to make decisions about your relationship that he doesn’t feel ready to make, and he might put on the brakes.

To illustrate this point, take a look at what happened to Carly and Adam when they hurried time in their relationship:


Carly has had a couple of dates with Adam and really enjoys going out with him. She finds him attractive, charming, funny, and they seem to get along great. She’s in a hurry for him to start asking her out for Saturday night dates because that sounds like “date night” to her. Her impatience is obvious, and a little off-putting to Adam. To him, it seems like he just met her.

Carly can’t wait to find out if he’ll ask her out for a date, so she hints around to him that there is a concert she’d like to go that Saturday. But Adam doesn’t ask her out. In fact, he stops calling her and Carly can’t figure out what happened since they got along so well.

Or, take a look at this scenario for rushing time in a love relationship:


Amanda was enamored with Steve, a guy she’d gone on a handful of dates with. Steve seemed to really “get” her, and he was interested in so many of the same things she was. Steve told her how much he admired how hard she worked and how he also loved putting in a hard day’s work at the office. After the sixth date, Steve asked her to move in with him, and he started sending her flowers to her office all the time.

For Amanda, she had a slight feeling in the pit of her stomach that Steve was rushing things, and those flowers he kept sending almost seemed like a pressuring tactic. But she was just so sick of being single and having everyone in her family asking her when she would get a boyfriend already.

After knowing Steve for only two months, Amanda moved in with him. Tragically though, she found out all too soon that Steve expected her to cook and clean, and he quit his job soon after she signed the lease to the apartment he’d found. Amanda was stuck paying all the bills and cleaning up after a narcissist because she let impatience and family pressure rush her into a relationship.

So the next time you hear yourself complain that some area of your love life is moving too slowly, remember Carly and Amanda’s cautionary tales. Listen to the wonderful Stones song, “Time is On My Side,” and try to enjoy the pace of your love life. Taking it slow, giving yourself and the other person time, can make for a deeper, more meaningful love relationship and help you weed out the people who are toxic for you. If he’s not into you or just not a good man, you’ll have to take action and eject him from your list of suitors. But if he has potential, remember how time can help both of you figure out whether you’re a good match. Both parties in a relationship need that time.

Have you ever moved too quickly and messed up a budding romance? Or do you disagree and think microwave romances are workable? Leave us a message in the comments below.

 

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Comments

  • September 2, 2019

    Thanks for sharing such a useful post! It’s not easy to be patient all the time.I learned a lot from you.

  • September 3, 2019

    Hi Yaki,

    Great to hear from you.
    You’re so right. It’s very hard to be patient.
    I’m glad you found my article helpful.
    Thanks for getting in touch.

    Warmly,
    Dr. Susan

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