This week we’ll wrap up our series on thankfulness with a reminder to be thankful for the reflection in the mirror. You matter. You’re beautiful. You are worthy of love. You don’t have to fit anyone else’s agenda for what makes a beautiful, sexy, vital woman, just your own. That, in fact, is what your own Brand of Sexy is! It’s you taking control of who you really are and honoring that. It’s about how you feel, what you want in a relationship, and standing up for yourself. It’s about redefining the word “sexy” so that it’s not focused solely on the outside but adding to that your inner strength, self-knowledge, and most importantly, your self-confidence.
Previously, I’ve talked about how gaining self-confidence can lead you to the relationship and man of your dreams. Realizing you have more to learn about yourself and putting yourself on the path to loving who you really are is a way to get you to that relationship. It all comes down to this: How can someone love you if you don’t love yourself? It’s not easy if you’re coming from a place of self-doubt about your physical appearance. But you matter even if your reflection isn’t “Hollywood ideal”. You have value, no matter the size of your thighs. Every inch of you is lovable and worthy of love!
You’re here, ready to learn what it takes to have the future you’ve longed for. That’s a huge step forward you’re taking. Be proud of yourself for that.
Maybe you’re just beginning this journey to accepting and loving yourself. That can make the world of dating seem overwhelming. But don’t give up! My award-winning book Be Your Own Brand Of Sexy: A New Sexual Revolution for Women helps you navigate the oftentimes confusing world of dating and invites you to join a new revolution, one that encourages each woman to decide what’s best for her, regardless of cultural expectations on your appearance or behavior. It’s about revolutionizing the world of dating. And most importantly, being your own Brand of Sexy is about you feeling confident in yourself and in control of your dating life so that you can finally have the relationship you’ve always wanted and on your own terms.
A key element to being your own Brand of Sexy is the understanding that we are all different from one another, and that it’s great that we are! We are all beautiful in our own, special way. Even in our differences: short, tall, a rainbow of skin colors, a multitude of body shapes, each one is lovely in their uniqueness. Think of a garden. Each type of flower has its own special beauty. No one would tell a lily, “Your petals are too fat.”
It’s hard not to get down on ourselves when it comes to appearance. The majority of women are critical of their looks and bodies. We are constantly bombarded by airbrushed images of perfect-looking models and Hollywood celebrities. When every photograph of a model requires airbrushing and photoshop to achieve perfection…. It means those models don’t even look like the models in magazines!
There are enormous pressures on women from media, men, and even other women to look and dress a certain way. It’s time to reevaluate the power that they all hold over our own sense of beauty and self-worth. It’s time to step back and say “No more” to these pressures. Of course, it’s good for women to take care of their appearance! But if you’re worried that your breasts are too small or your legs are too fat for a man to love you, then maybe it’s time to examine how influenced you may be by these cultural expectations. It isn’t possible for most women to fit into our increasingly unattainable image of the perfect body, so why make ourselves unhappy trying? The more aware we become of these negative influences, the more likely we can free ourselves from their spell. Confidence is sexier and more empowering than bare midriffs and cleavage! The more we buy into the cultural forces that dictate this tyranny of beauty, the more likely we will feel unhappy with the way we look, which just undermines our confidence.
Learning to accept yourself is an exhilarating and important step in getting the relationship of your dreams. Look at your reflection and be proud of all you’re accomplishing just by working on your self-esteem and confidence. That beautiful, special woman looking back is worthy of a man who will respect and love her. It is attainable. You can get what you want from men. Be your own Brand of Sexy. You can do it!