Single? How to Turn Around the Pre-Wedding Blues


Summer is here which means one thing—it’s wedding season. If you are a single woman, you might feel a pit in your stomach just seeing all the “save the dates” stuck to your refrigerator. It’s not that you aren’t happy for your soon-to-be-wedded friends and family, it’s just that you might be wondering, when will it be my turn?

Being single during the wedding season can also spur all kinds of self-critical thoughts. Maybe you’re replaying your past relationships or recent dates and beating yourself up for saying the wrong thing or for making the wrong move.

How do you turn around these pre-wedding blues (instead of drowning your sorrows in a tub of ice cream)?

  1. Remember that being single has its perks. Being single does give you a lot more time and freedom than most people have in a relationship. Enjoy it! You can learn a new hobby, take a class, spend time with friends, or invest the time and energy into working on yourself, so that when you do meet Mr. Right, you are ready. And remember, there is nothing wrong with you just because you are single and haven’t met the man you want to marry yet! If you are still feeling down about not being in a relationship, read this blog post.
  2. Learn from your past. While the wedding season may make you feel like cursing your ex-boyfriend who took you for granted or broke your heart, it can be helpful to remember that every experience teaches us something, including dating and relationships. Maybe dating the guy who took you for granted taught you how to stand up for yourself, and getting your heart broken by a jerk taught you to slow down and get to know a man before getting too involved. Viewing your past relationships as learning opportunities instead of as misfortunes helps you to move forward and puts you in a much better position to find the right guy. Click here to read more about learning from your past in my blog post, “Being Single 101.”
  3. Re-calibrate your emotional GPS. Do you listen to your gut if there are red flags on a date, or do you ignore your emotional GPS and stay with guys who don’t treat you well or who aren’t a good match? Learning how to use your emotional GPS to lead you in the right direction is a powerful dating strategy. Read this blog post to learn more about how to use your emotional GPS to find love.
  4. Think about what might not be working for you. We all make mistakes—the key is to learn from them. It can be helpful to understand any dating mistakes you might be making, because then you have the power to fix them. My brand new ebook, What to Say to Men on a Date: Be Your Own Brand of Sexy, is filled with tips on how to date more successfully. You can pre-order it now.
  5. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Then, you may find yourself going into the wedding more balanced, happier, and better prepared to meet a great guy. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, make sure you get enough sleep. Exercise and eat healthy foods. Socialize. Spending time with the people in your life will help remind you just how full of love your life is–married or not. Resist scrolling through Facebook. Scrolling through the pictures of your married friends is probably one of the fastest ways to make you feel down about being single. Instead, spend time engaging in your own life. Call up a friend to catch up. Go on a date. Re-read your favorite book. Not only will this give you more things to talk about at the wedding with the other guests, but it’ll put you in a much better mood!

Ultimately, the most important preparation any single woman can do before attending a wedding isn’t getting her nails or hair done, it’s getting herself in the best place emotionally so that she feels good about herself, looks forward to meeting new people, and can enjoy herself. If you’re having trouble feeling good about yourself, at least try to stop feeling like a failure for being single.

Tune in on Saturday for “Should I Bring a Date to a Wedding?,” next Tuesday for Why Are You Still Single? 10 Answers to the Dreaded Wedding Question,” and next Thursday for “Should I Call Him After the Wedding?”

How do you prepare for weddings as a single woman? I’d love to hear from you. Please share your experiences in the comments below and on Facebook and Twitter.

You can do this.  Join the revolution.  Be your own Brand of Sexy and get what you want.

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