Maria had been looking forward to tonight. After a promising first date last week, David had suggested dinner for Valentine’s Day. She felt a flicker of excitement—maybe this time would be different.
Then, this afternoon, his text arrived: “Something came up. Need to cancel. Can we reschedule?”
Her stomach dropped. She stared at the screen, disappointment and frustration building inside her.
“I’m so sick of this. I’ve had enough!”
She’d given dating her best, yet here she was again—waiting, hoping, let down.
The tears came. She let them.
When the sadness passed, something new emerged—resolve.
“Something has to change. I can’t figure this out by myself. I need help.”
She thought about all the ways she had tackled challenges in life—her career, her friendships, her personal growth. She hadn’t done those things alone. Why had she expected love to be any different?
That night, instead of dwelling on disappointment, Maria made a decision. She wasn’t going to leave her love life to chance anymore. It was time to break the cycle, to get the support she needed, and to do things differently.
And in that moment, everything began to shift—not because David changed his mind, but because she did.
Valentine’s Day Realizations
Valentine’s Day can be complicated when you’re single. The world is awash with red roses and romantic dinners, but for many women, it’s just another painful reminder of what they don’t have—especially if they really want it. It’s easy to feel like you’re on the outside looking in, watching love stories unfold for everyone but you.
Yet, beyond the heart-shaped chocolates and overpriced prix-fixe menus, Valentine’s Day for single women is about the expectations we’ve been taught—about who deserves love and what it means to be worthy of it. It highlights our longings and insecurities, because of the stories we tell ourselves.
Maybe you recognize yourself in Maria’s story. The cycle of hope, anticipation, and disappointment. It can feel exhausting, and it’s easy to start wondering if it’s just bad luck, or if there’s something wrong with you.
It’s tempting to give up. To tell yourself that it’s easier to just be alone than to keep putting yourself out there, only to be hurt again.
But even when you try to protect yourself from the pain, the longing may not go away.
Why Does It Feel So Hard?
Dating today isn’t easy. The rules have changed, and it can feel like you’re navigating a minefield. You’re expected to be independent and confident, but not too much. You’re supposed to be open and vulnerable, but not needy. When you try to follow the conflicting guidance, you can lose what’s important to you.
It’s confusing. And exhausting.
There’s a lot of pressure to get everything just right, to play the game perfectly. It can feel like no matter what you do, it’s never quite enough.
And when things don’t work out, it’s easy to turn inward and wonder what you did wrong. To replay conversations in your head, second-guessing every word, every gesture.
But that’s where you can get lost in the weeds. The bigger problem is the way we’ve been taught to think about love and dating.
We’re told to wait for the right person, to be patient, to let things happen naturally. But we’re also told that it’s about being good enough, attractive enough, successful enough.
It’s no wonder dating feels so confusing and you tend to blame yourself.
A Different Way Forward
Finding love isn’t just about patience or luck. And if you’re alone, it’s not your fault—you’ve just been taught the wrong way to approach love.
While attraction may be natural, creating a healthy, lasting relationship is a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned and mastered.
Think about it. In every other part of your life—your career, your health, your friendships—you don’t expect yourself to know things you don’t know. You take action. You make things happen. You get help when you need it. Why should love be different?
You invest in your education, hire trainers for your fitness goals, and seek mentors for your career. Yet when it comes to love, you’re supposed to figure it out on your own. How does that make sense?
Maybe you’ve been wondering, “Why am I still single?” There’s nothing wrong with that question. In fact, it’s a good question because it can spark change. It can push you to reflect, to reevaluate, and to try something new. But if you keep asking it without making any changes, it can leave you feeling stuck.
What if you questioned the approach you’ve been taught to take? This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about realizing that, like anything else in life, dating and relationships involve learning and growth. While chemistry can’t be forced and timing can’t be controlled, you can create the conditions for real connection to flourish.
Creating Real Change
The path to lasting love isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about understanding yourself more deeply. It’s about recognizing the patterns that have shaped your relationships and learning new ways to connect. Each relationship that doesn’t work out isn’t a failure; it’s feedback that can guide you toward what you truly want and need.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it’s tough to see the patterns that keep you stuck. It’s not about doing more or trying harder—it’s about seeing things differently. That’s where the right support can make all the difference. Just as you’ve sought help in other areas of your life, there’s no reason to navigate love alone. An outside perspective can reveal what you might be missing and help you break the cycle for good.
Finding love isn’t about waiting—it’s about becoming. Becoming ready for the love you want. Becoming clear about who you are and what you need. Becoming intentional about the life you want to create. That journey can start with self-love for Valentine’s Day—shifting your focus to growing into one of the women who’s ready for real connection.
I help women approach love differently – treating it like other areas of life where you learn and get support. Together, we’ll figure out exactly what works for you in dating and relationships, not what everyone else says you should do.
Ready to approach love differently? Book a complimentary conversation and let’s discuss what’s possible when you stop waiting and start becoming.
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