If you’re currently single, being alone for the holidays can emphasize your single-hood in a unpleasant way. For some, it may even feel like your heartbreak is on display for your family, friends and coworkers to see. This time of year can be difficult when it seems everyone is sharing the joys of the season with that “someone special”. Perhaps you avoid parties because of it. Or maybe you’ve been too busy to think about it until you arrive at the company party and realize with a sinking feeling that you’re the only one not coupled up. Or even worse, when you get there, you get the dreaded, “Why are you still single?” question from a fellow party-goer and it feels like a judgment, not a compliment.
It’s enough to put a damper on the fun of the holidays for some of us.
Instead of feeling uneasy or even anxious about holiday commitments, or worrying about being grilled on your love life (or lack of one), this could be the time when you work on gaining confidence in how to handle these uncomfortable situations. Consider taking a step towards being your own Brand of Sexy. That means figuring out what you want, what works for you as an individual, and what steps will help you achieve your relationship goals. It also means listening to yourself and knowing how to stand up for yourself.
Know that you’re under no obligation to answer questions that make you feel uncomfortable. Often women are raised to be polite at all costs, leaving us feeling like we can’t refuse to answer a question, even if we don’t want to discuss something so personal. Maybe you don’t want to talk about this subject with fellow party-goers. That’s okay. In my multi-award winning book Be Your Own Brand of Sexy: A New Sexual Revolution For Women, you’ll learn to handle these awkward situations in ways that feel right for you.
You can also choose a response that feels right to you, one that reflects your personality. You could make a joke like, “If I wasn’t single, what would my mother have to complain about?” and make light of it. Or maybe you’d rather smile and say, “Honestly, I’d rather talk about the last book you read.” Whatever makes you feel more comfortable is the right answer for you. (Read more ideas on how to handle this question here.)
Try to remember all the good things about being single. This is a great time to focus on yourself, to decide what it is that you want out of life and out of a partner. Take a moment to think about everything you’re doing right. You’re beginning to figure out who you are and what you want out of life and of your dream relationship. These things take time. (And no matter where you are on your path of learning who you are, our series of posts in January will help you reach your goals in having the relationship you’ve always wanted.)
Being your own Brand of Sexy means doing what works best for you. Are you being your own Brand of Sexy? Click here to take a quiz to find out. Want more practice responding to tricky dating questions in a way that suits your own personality? My eBook What to Say To Men on a Date includes basic dating questions that most single women regularly encounter, as well as advice on how to handle men who are upset, unreasonable, or who aren’t treating you well. Even better, you can store it on your phone and have it ready to go no matter where you are!
Connect with other women discovering what their own Brand of Sexy is here or on Facebook. You can have the future you’ve always dreamed of. Start getting what you want in a relationship. You can do this!